Beautiful Buildings for the Dirty Minded
You may have a dirty mind but great minds think alike. Yes, these buildings really do look like what you think they look like. Take a look, you know you want to.
The Gherkin, London
It may just be that they have incredibly dirty minds or something awful happened to them when they are children, but believe it or not, a lot of people think that The Gherkin, in the City of London, is shaped like the appendage of the male of the species. Opened in 2004 it stands erect at 180 meters – which is some size, you have to admit.
Its address is 30 St Mary’s Axe. Some axe, Mary! If you don’t think it has a certain shape to it you are perhaps in the minority. Other nicknames for this huge beast of a building are the Crystal Phallus, and the Towering Innuendo. The building is also famous for it incredible shafts. There are gaps on each floor which form six of them and naturally ventilate the entire building.
Ypsilanti Water Tower
Michigan in the United States is the next stop on our tour of these buildings. Had it been made of trees it could have been said that it really had wood, but the locals have a much more endearing – if straightforward – name for the structure. They call it the ‘Brick Dick’ and who can blame them. A certain Mister Freud may well have had a field day with the subconscious mind of the architect and it is a matter of sympathy when one considers what the builders must have gone through in the construction of this monster. Supposedly if anyone from the Eastern Michigan University graduates while still a virgin the tower will fall down. Obviously, then, an overwhelmingly large amount of married couples must attend the university. Cough.
The Williamsburg Savings Bank Tower
It is unfortunate for this noble building that its name may be shortened to something a little lewd and unforgivable, so whether or not you believe that the Williamsburg Savings Bank Tower in Brooklyn, New York City looks like a willy, that is its nick-name. The gilded copper dome at its summit isn’t something that has helped with the perseverance of this appendage-driven assignation either. It is still, despite its age, the tallest building in Brooklyn – and quite an eyeful it is too.
Kansas City: Liberty Memorial
Declared a National Historic Monument of the USA in 2006, the Liberty Memorial in Kansas City is certainly monumental. Built to commemorate the First World War it was opened in 1926 and has been sticking out like a sore thumb ever since. One can only wonder, whether the Planning Committee were simply too polite to mention this obvious when the architect of the building presented them with his vision.
The Torre Agbar
Thrusting upwards on the skyline of Barcelona, Spain and simply dripping in glans like glamour is the Torre Agbar. It was inaugurated by the King of Spain in September 2005 and its shape and size has been likened to the Erotic Gherkin of Old London Town. A big shimmery vibration of light, at night the tower glistens wonderfully and casts its light across the city of Gaudi (who would approve, perhaps?).
The one thing that, well, sticks out about the Torre Agbar are the thousands upon thousands of LED devices. These allow images to be illuminated on the façade of the building at night and it is one of Barcelona’s newest and most colorful attractions as well as being the head office of the local water board.
Montreal Olympic Stadium
1976 was a good year for willy shaped buildings, with the opening of the Montreal Olympic Stadium which was the host for that year’s Summer Olympics. It is locally given the nickname ‘The Big O’ for its donut shaped roof but the Canadians could just have easily opted for the next letter in the alphabet.
Alas, it has had many problems over the years, both structural and financial. It is generally seen as something of a white elephant – and even one of those mighty beasts might be proud to be the owner of this not so august semi-erection. However, at 175 meters it is still the world’s tallest inclined tower.
The Lurie Tower
A bell tower sneaks on to the list. The Lurie Tower is in Michigan and located at the eponymously named university. It was built in 1996 and rather than being one of those feeble latter day bell towers actually houses a grand carillon among its sixty bells. As there are only twenty three of these big bells in the world (two of which are on this campus alone) this may be the bell end of the world you might wish to visit some day, particularly if you are a campanologist. Wait a minute, this is the second Michigan entry in this selection. Does that say anything?
IFC 2 Hong Kong
The International Finance Centre (known as IFC unsurprisingly) consists if two skyscrapers, number two being the largest. It is also the tallest building in Hong Kong. The airport express is situated directly below it. One of the tallest office structures in the world this of course bears no resemblance at all to anything remotely to do with… why am I bothering at this stage?
Do you know of any building that fits the bill?
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62 Comments
CutestPrincess, posted this comment on Feb 22nd, 2009
that was cool, the photo are truly amazing…
Debra., posted this comment on Feb 22nd, 2009
lol Great write! I article was really interesting and I enjoyed the read!
Christine Ramsay, posted this comment on Feb 22nd, 2009
Ha ha! I would never have given it a thought until you pointed it out you naughty thing. A great article and photos.
Christine
Auron Renius, posted this comment on Feb 22nd, 2009
I would have included the Leaning Tower of Pisa, its even got the right angle.
Coit Tower, posted this comment on Feb 22nd, 2009
The name alone….
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coit_Tower
Anne Lyken Garner, posted this comment on Feb 22nd, 2009
Very interesting.
You may have something missing in the Montreal one.
Ronald Marbles, posted this comment on Feb 22nd, 2009
Nice article RJ. I have two of those skyscrapers in an article that I wrote several months ago. It’s the St.Mary Axe in London and Torre Agbar in Barcelona.
http://bizcovering.com/international-business-and-trade/top-five-monolithic-skyscrapers/
Bren Parks, posted this comment on Feb 22nd, 2009
LMAO!!
louisefeaheny, posted this comment on Feb 22nd, 2009
Don’t forget the Spire in Dublin, Ireland! It’s not a building but it’s a monument erected as a land mark in our city 
s, posted this comment on Feb 22nd, 2009
the the tower of pizza would have been a good addition to this peice…
Lindsay, posted this comment on Feb 22nd, 2009
you should check out Florida’s capitol building..
http://www.coyoteblog.com/coyote_blog/2005/03/florida_capital.html
Fegger, posted this comment on Feb 22nd, 2009
You should have named this article “Man’s Erectile Dysfunctions”…something like that.. 
Daisy Peasblossom, posted this comment on Feb 22nd, 2009
Amusing. I think these may come under the “if it is longer than it is wide” heading. Still, good fun.
Bo Jack Russo, posted this comment on Feb 22nd, 2009
funny,good stuff
Alina Beck, posted this comment on Feb 22nd, 2009
Witty, well-written and informative – great article! Like many others, when I saw the gherkin for the first time I could only wonder how they managed to get that nickname to stick when there were so many other possibilities!
Louie Jerome, posted this comment on Feb 22nd, 2009
Ooooh, you are awful! But I like it! Great pictures and great fun.
Ruby Hawk, posted this comment on Feb 22nd, 2009
I can’t imagine a mind that would come up with these weird ideas but I must admit it is entertaining. An amusing read.
mradil, posted this comment on Feb 22nd, 2009
If a dirty mind can think it, draw it, then it might also can built it..
Joe Dorish, posted this comment on Feb 22nd, 2009
Oh My!
Juancav, posted this comment on Feb 22nd, 2009
Imposing phallic buildings.
Fornis, posted this comment on Feb 22nd, 2009
Awesome buildings.. I don’t understand why they are for the dirty minded!
Bill M. Tracer, posted this comment on Feb 22nd, 2009
Just as sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, likewise sometimes a tower is just a tower. LOL
Lost in Arizona, posted this comment on Feb 23rd, 2009
Tee-hee.. is it immature of us to laugh at this?! I have to pass this one onto my bro, as he is an architect. Of course, he may end up looking at his profession in a new light…lol!
Sotiris, posted this comment on Feb 23rd, 2009
Amazing photos!
Tallahassee Native, posted this comment on Feb 23rd, 2009
Winner of the Readers’ Poll for World’s Most Phallic Building: Florida’s Capitol
http://www.greathoboes.com/commentary/wade16.html
Check it out
Lupierre, posted this comment on Feb 23rd, 2009
Hehe, you’re funny. Do you guys know where the balls are in the Williamsburg Bank and the Liberty memeorial? I see it.
Necridor, posted this comment on Feb 23rd, 2009
Some of them were good, some were lame 6/10
Evelyn M Carter, posted this comment on Feb 23rd, 2009
Interesting. I wonder what they really Are thinking about when they erect these buildings. Good job. Nice shots.
Kate Smedley, posted this comment on Feb 24th, 2009
Entertaining article and great photos!
Ignatz Horowitz, posted this comment on Feb 24th, 2009
Add the University of Texas Tower in Austin.
Vikie, posted this comment on Feb 24th, 2009
Haha good article, I wouldnt have thought about it until you wrote about it. There has obv been a lot of research put into it. Well done =]
Abdul Sabour Ayoubi, posted this comment on Feb 24th, 2009
Wow, a great article with lots of information. Thanks for sharing.
Rookie Expert, posted this comment on Feb 24th, 2009
How do you come up with such topics and articles?? May be not one of your best articles, but its entertaining!
Stickinthemud, posted this comment on Feb 24th, 2009
What about the C.N. Tower of Canada? Does that classify? Not that I support an article on buildings being a representation of phallic symbols, but now that you’ve broached the topic, I guess in my reluctance I will participate.
Lauren, posted this comment on Feb 24th, 2009
Oh how could you! I was studying
Sharazad, posted this comment on Feb 24th, 2009
What? No girl buildings?
JOSELITO B BISENIO, posted this comment on Feb 25th, 2009
ha ha ha! the first two buildings really look like what i am thinking…nice job, mr evans!
Alixander Haban Escote, posted this comment on Feb 25th, 2009
Such a very wonderful pictures and article! Cheers
eddiego65, posted this comment on Feb 25th, 2009
Another great article and pics as usual.
Pepote, posted this comment on Feb 25th, 2009
The alamillo bridge in Seville (spain)
http://ingenieriaenlared.files.wordpress.com/2007/09/alamillo1.jpg
Matt John, posted this comment on Feb 25th, 2009
Cool building!
http://stumblephemera.blogspot.com/
stefan, posted this comment on Feb 26th, 2009
nice!
Betty Carew, posted this comment on Feb 26th, 2009
Great article I was almost afriad to look but it wasn’t so bad but very funny lol
Anne McNew, posted this comment on Feb 26th, 2009
wow! great information
Nosa, posted this comment on Feb 27th, 2009
Wow!!! This is a very interesting piece of work.I really like all of the pictures,espectially the “The Williamsburg Savings Bank Tower” and the “Montreal Olympic Stadium” Thanks for sharing-I think I may need to visit this page a few more times because I like subjects related achitecture.
Ori Sonata, posted this comment on Feb 27th, 2009
The one in London have, well, a big size for sure.
Dave, posted this comment on Feb 27th, 2009
Nice to see the Montreal Olympic Stadium get some airtime, but I don’t find it looks anything like a body part. Also, we called it ‘The big OWE’ because we were paying for it for decades. In fact, I’m not sure it’s paid off yet!
mig, posted this comment on Feb 27th, 2009
do you want something phalic?
Alamillo bridge in Seville
http://images.google.es/images?hl=es&q=alamillo&btnG=Buscar+im%C3%A1genes&gbv=2
S Air, posted this comment on Feb 27th, 2009
Oh dear! Great Article.
AW Smith, posted this comment on Feb 27th, 2009
all of the buildings in all the cities of all the world then resemble a penis, the leaning tower of pisa in italy represents an old man with a bent wang then.
PsychoButterfly, posted this comment on Feb 28th, 2009
Awesome article and pictures!! Great work!
Caleb Nico, posted this comment on Mar 1st, 2009
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I have a dirty mind and was laughing very hard at this piece’s outlook on society’s boners. The best part is that I was born and raised in Michigan so that just makes it funnier! Thank you!
http://myhumors, posted this comment on Mar 2nd, 2009
http://myhumors99.blogspot.com/search/label/Interesting%20Images
myhumors, posted this comment on Mar 2nd, 2009
http://myhumors99.blogspot.com/2009/03/beautiful-buildings-for-dirty-minded.html
Jo Oliver, posted this comment on Mar 2nd, 2009
RJ,
Saw your comment on BC’s “power of leaving comments.” I love your f’ off file letter. I hope you don’t mind, but I copied it for future use
Back on subject now…
I must be dirty minded. Ypsilanti Water Tower is the most “anatomical correct.” Do not know of any to add off hand. Great read.
Jo
Fresh Writing, posted this comment on Mar 3rd, 2009
R.J. This was hilarious!!!! Definitely enjoyed it…:)
Guess I am ‘dirty minded…’ ah well! Hilarious article…:D
See you around!
-Fresh Writing
Yovita Siswati, posted this comment on Mar 5th, 2009
Very fun to read. I still cannot stop laughing.
Tate Morgan, posted this comment on Mar 12th, 2009
Its the brits cant get their mind right
Mark Grant, posted this comment on Mar 13th, 2009
How could you forget the only FEMALE building ever?
The Proctor & Gamble HQ in Cincinnati Ohio.
Looks like a pair of breasts standing up, and legs open at 90 degrees.
Athlyn Green, posted this comment on Mar 15th, 2009
I got a chuckle over the word-play. Great job on this article. This one gets a Buzz.
M Shatwan, posted this comment on Apr 25th, 2009
y are like most fo them shaped like dicks!!
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RJ Chamberlain, posted this comment on Feb 22nd, 2009
Haha. Very good piece. A lot of thought and research gone into this one R J. Fun read.
Cheers,
RJ