Your skin will peel off and scale up like an alligator, there will be redness, bruising, and pain for at least a week…and this is only a small one. These are the things that they don’t tell you at the tattoo parlor. And I want you, my friend, to be prepared for the repercussions of your actions. Not to talk you out of it, for I’m happy with what I’ve done, but I’ve written this to warn you. Here are some things they will not tell you before you get a tattoo.

1)    IT WILL HURT. No matter what your friends, relatives, or co-workers may tell you about getting a permanent drawing on your skin, it will hurt like a bitch. You do get used to the pain, until that sharp needle hits the bone. Then, you will know what true pain is. It feels like nothing I’ve ever felt before…and the adrenaline factor is irresistible, and constant. The needle etching its way down your skin will just feel like a vibration after a while, except for a pinch here and there. That’s the time to squeeze your friends’ hands as hard as you can.

2)    YOUR SKIN WILL GET SCALY, BRUISED, AND RED. Who knew there would be bruising after a tattoo? I sure didn’t. I’m guessing the penetration deep under your skin creates this effect. Your skin will turn from red to purple to beet red again, looking sun burnt and peeling like scales off of a snake.  The skin creates a whole another layer, which peels off slowly to allow for healing.

3)    NO MATTER WHAT YOUR TATTO ARTIST TELL YOU, YOU SHOULD APPLY THE  RECOMMENDED TATTOO GEL AT LEAST FOUR TIMES A DAY FOR THE FIRST WEEK. This helps the swelling and keeps the peeling to a minimum, especially because you’re not supposed to scratch or peel your skin off. This could lead to the ink of your tattoo peeling off, along with that extra layer of skin coming off too quickly. After the gel runs out, keep the tattoo moisturized with non-scented lotion of some sort, so it doesn’t get too dry for its own good.

4)    DON’T BE A WUSS.  Now, I know the place might look scary and the tattoo artist taking their sweet time to get to you will not help in the least bit, but you can do it. If I can do it, you can do it. I am not what you’d call the relaxed type. I get nervous over just about everything. Don’t back out and leave the place, or you’ll just look like a wuss.

5)    TAKE IT ALL IN STRIDE.  I know you may be worried about sanitation, irritation, and medication, but it’s really not that bad. Do some research beforehand, though. Check out tattoo places in your area and simply ask around. First person testimony is often the best way to get lucrative information like this. Word of mouth, in my case, was the best way to find a place I was comfortable with, and I felt safe getting a tattoo where I ended up. Make sure the artist’s work is up to your standards and the place is as sanitary as possible. I was lucky enough to know someone who used to work at the tattoo parlor I got mine done in. My dear friend know some of the artists still, and picked out the nicest and best of the bunch for me…which leads to the next step: support.

6)    TAKE A SUPPORT TEAM WITH YOU. Support is essential when getting a tattoo. Your friends, family, or significant other will keep you calm and collected, and, most importantly, keep you from backing out of the situation at hand. They will probably even encourage you to get more stupid things done to your body that you don’t need. As the Beatles said, “I get by with a little help from my friends.”  I wouldn’t have been able to get through these painstaking moments in the tattoo parlor without my two best girl friends. I am forever grateful to them. I could never have done this by myself. Some may say they’re a bad influence; I call them my best friends.