A small collection of methods, tips and tricks that will get you on your way to producing tears! Believe it or not this can take practice, so every now and then don’t be afraid to have a go at practicing different methods. The tips listed below vary from helping you cry on cue, cry after preparation and making yourself cry with aid of objects (e.g. onions). These methods are associated with actually producing tears, or something that looks like them (water) – not cry-acting.

I don’t pretend to be an expert on fake crying, but I can more or less do it on cue (or at least a few seconds after!). Before we start, remember that fake crying can be very effective and useful once you find a method that is right for you. No-one is incapable, you just need the determination and practice. Different people usually are more skilled at using a particular methods, and hopefully this guide will help you find one. Feel free to use combinations of the below.

Before you start:

• Make sure you aren’t dehydrated, this can occasionally be the reason why you aren’t producing tears.

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  Make sure your facial muscles are relaxed. Don’t tense the muscles in your face, make sure you are relaxed. You can’t force your eyes to cry by bracing your entire body – some people forget this.

• Think of some unhappy memories before you start, if you wish to try a technique which involves crying from past experience. A breakup, death, situation that you find sad (leaving your family, your pet getting killed in front of you), or sometimes even a predicament that made you cry in a movie can work. 

• If you wear contacts, be very careful as some methods can dry them up or damage them.

• When making yourself cry, you are either hurting yourself to produce tears, making your eyes water, or drying out your eyes.

Methods in no particular order of effectiveness:

1. The first method I will mention is the one which works the best for me. Note: This does require practice. You will get gradually quicker and more skilled. If you have trouble with blinking, or can’t stare at something for too long – this one is not for you. Find a point in your surroundings, preferably one that doesn’t move. Stare at this spot intently, and make sure you do not blink and open your eyes wide if you can. (With practice you will not need to always open your eyes wide) If you can get a breeze blowing into your eyes, or a bright light (NOT the sun) this can help also. After a while of focusing, your eyes will begin to get dry and sore. Be careful not to blink, as this will re-moisten your eyes. After a while, your eyes may become blurred with tears, and burn strongly. Try and keep them this way for as long as possible, and when you finally blink – tears will roll down your face.
2. The second method is similar to the above, and there are a few different variations of it. Hold your eyes wide open with your fingers and stay like this for a couple of minutes. To quicken the process you can either position yourself near a fan, breeze or look at a bright light (again, not directly at the sun). 
3. Blinking really fast repeatedly and sometimes make your eyes water.
4. Watch a scene from a really sad movie, which makes you cry. I find that The Notebook or The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants works. This can also be used for practicing.
5. Conjure up thoughts of extreme sadness, or put yourself in the place of another actor’s role that you know of. Screw up your face, or arrange it as if you are about to cry, pout a little, wrinkle your chin. Submerge yourself in the thoughts you have in your head. This does not /always/ work if you don’t feel you have the experiences that can make this work. 
6. Yawn repeatedly, this can make you cry.
7. Run into a cold wind, this can make your eyes water.
8. Hold your upper eyelids against the bone of your eyelid and stare at a white or blank spot on the wall. This can hurt, but the pain involved can also often make your cry.
9. Cut onions. If they are unwashed they are more effective in provoking tears.
10. Rub your eyes lots to make them red, and dribble water from a drink bottle around them.
11. Fan your eyes, and try to not blink.  Keep your eyes wide, or hold them open (though the latter can be difficult as you do not have three hands).
12. If you are female, find a mirror or location where the sun falls across your eyes. Try to apply eyeliner/mascara to your eyes with the glare in your face. This will often make you cry, and also smudge your makeup – making you look more distressed.
13. Pinch really close to your face, like you are popping a pimple. Sensitive places around your eyes where the skin is thin is the most effective. Make sure you don’t draw blood or injure yourself in doing so!
14. Dab a pungent smelling substance such as Vicks Vapor Rub or peppermint oil underneath your eyelids. This can often make you cry. 
15. Poke yourself in the eye. This can be difficult as if you are doing it yourself, you are expecting it. If you get someone else to do it, make sure they do not injure you!

And thats my 15 tips for you! As well as making sure you do not physically injure someone make sure that you do not emotionally hurt anyone by faking tears! Goodbye and good luck in producing those tears.