Precious little has been written about the art of Post Office Portrait Photography, its subtlety, its precision, and its complexity.  Benjamin Franklin, for instance, is often credited with inventing post office portraiture shortly after his appointment as Postmaster General for the colonies in 1753, but few realize that the real champion of the photographic medium was Heinrich Lettermeister of Baden Baden, Germany.  Cursed with a curious last name, Lettermeister championed the double-chinned tongue-biting self portrait technique (shown in the photograph below).  This technique is particularly difficult to perfect as the wind causes the camera to sway to and fro.  Lettermeister found that biting one’s tongue and extending a second chin would stabilize the camera and produce a museum-quality print.  He was very successful with this technique until his untimely death in 1857 when he inadvertently looked directly at the flash, blinded himself, and fell into a rancid German well.

Photograph courtesy of author.

Despite his unfortunate demise, Lettermeister inspired dozens, perhaps even bakers’ dozens, of aspiring Post Office portrait photographers to even greater heights of artistic expression using his cutting-edge techniques.  Perhaps his most clever technique is that of the three-quarter beer belly pose (note that a constant diet of Dr. Pepper and Doritos produces the same effect on the model).  Lettermeister maintained that a model’s extended beer belly contrasts with the symmetry of most post offices to produce a dynamic and riveting portrait (see photo below).

Photograph courtesy of author.

Given Lettermeister’s success and the sheer awesomeness of his successors, it is not surprising that Post Office Portrait Photography (POPP) is now the hottest thing since adult underpants.  In fact, the newest fad, corny facial expressions, was not readily accepted in Lettermeister’s day, but today it constitutes the core of the Neo-POPP movement.  You’ll notice that in the photograph presented below, the model, albeit handsome, has masked his innate handsomeness with a corny facial expression.  The result is a spectacular homage to the post office itself and one of the medium’s new masterpieces.

Photograph courtesy of author.

So, for all of you aspiring POPP artists.  Go grab a camera and get out there and shoot.  A whole new world awaits.