Often my sister and I heard father laughingly say to my mother “What’s yours is mine and what’s mine is mine.” Those words were simply playful words father used. But one day they came to mind when I was faced with their reality. Father was joking, but the police were not.

I never knew what was next.

After over ten years of marriage I had filed for divorce and I was experiencing daily acts of retaliation from my not yet ex husband. Just that week I had come home from work and found all my plants thrown into the incinerator one night and the fuses removed from the fuse box the next. Today while working as a payroll assistant in a large non-profit organization I had that sinking feeling that something strange was going on at home.  What would I walk into tonight?

How many times had we gone to bed hungry?

I thought back to one Christmas when I had taken a week vacation to make Christmas special for my family. My husband had some how gotten a hold of all our cash and lost it gambling. We had no Christmas presents or even groceries. My children were 4 months,  and 5 and 6 years of age. There was no food in our cupboards or in the fridge. We had all come down with nasty colds and we had nothing to eat nor money for medicine. I had not seen my husband for days. He was supposedly winning back the money he lost.

My cold was so bad that I could not talk. If it had not been for a bag of potatoes my neighbor gave us, we would not have eaten. We ate potatoes plain because we had no gravy, butter or milk. I breastfed our baby and wondered how nutritional my milk could be on this diet. I kept this in mind and other such episodes as I resolved to stay strong and get through this divorce. It took a lot of courage to work up the nerve to seek out an attorney and file for divorce, and my husband  was not about to make it easy.

guidetogambling.co.uk

I walked in cautiously.

I went in to my bosses office and asked permission to leave early. I had never done this before in the eight years I had worked there so permission was granted. As I cautiously let myself into our apartment on the 14th floor of our south Bronx apartment I saw all our appliances sitting on the couch with the cords wrapped around them. It looked like some of them were gone already. He often took items to the pawn shop to stake his next game. I no longer had my engagement ring and sewing machine because we had no money to buy them back.I made most of my children and my clothing, and often took in alterations for extra money, so this really hurt.

My head was spinning.

I was frightened that I would get caught standing here. What if he came in? What could I do? I called the police. After briefly summarizing what was happening or about to happen, the police advised me that my husband could do anything he saw fit with “our”property. It did not matter that he did not work, or that I purchased everything. It was community property.  My father’s words came to mind, and were no longer funny.

I knew he would most likely be back soon, unless he had enough money to play for awhile, so I quickly gathered as many items as I could and took the elevator down four flours to my daughter’s baby sitter. She would store the items for me. She was a good friend. She understood and often had told me to get rid of him. Her words were “You can do bad by d—  yourself. You do not need help to do bad!” Once I got all the items moved into her storage room, I sat in her kitchen until the time I would normally pick up my youngest and then I went home. My oldest two were surprised to see me at the baby sitters when they came in from school and I did not want to involve them, so I just said I did not feel well. It was true.

 ildado.com

He didn’t come home for days.

But this was nothing new. Quite frequently he would stay out for three and four days at a time. He gambled on horses, cards, numbers, dice… It did not matter. I often worried so much I would get physically ill. One morning he came in at 4:00. He could usually go right to sleep but this time he was extremely agitated. He said he was so happy (he didn’t look happy) because he had won $500. He thought he could make up for some of the pain he had caused.  I looked at him in amazement. He thought he could replace all the stolen moments with a mere $500.? I yelled at him. “I don’t want someone else’s hard earned money!” I earned mine and wanted to keep mine.  Then he told me at 2:00 a.m. he had been chased into an abandoned building and robbed at gunpoint by one of the men who lost to him. My stomach flip flopped as I realized I had been on my knees praying at that time for his safe return, just like hundreds of other nights. I kept feeling like I had to take care of him, like without me he would not survive. My desire to do the best for my children and to be a good wife were in constant conflict. To better understand co-dependency read: http://www.socyberty.com/Relationships/When-Love-Hurts.295443

He claimed he didn’t have a gambling problem.

During our ten years of marriage I often begged him to seek counseling but was always told “I don’t have a problem. You do.” When I opened my eyes and realized that he was at least partially right – I did have a problem, I realized what steps I had to take to get rid of my problem. Divorce is not easy. It hurts everyone involved, particularly the children. 

Weeks later,  he finally came home. He had been badly beaten and reeked to high heaven. I found out later he had borrowed money from loan sharks. He never mentioned the things missing from the couch and neither did I. I called an ambulance and got ready for work. By the time he was released from the hospital we were divorced. The loan sharks had broken his jaw and he retaliated. He ended up in jail for assault, which gave me a short reprieve as he was continually calling and shadowing me. At that time there were no stalking laws. Because he had actually been violent at times I resorted to taking out a personal order of protection against him.

Is it entertainment or addiction?

Perhaps I am not the person to ask. I may be biased because of all the pain we experienced resulting from his gambling addiction. I consulted the National Council of Gambling:

“Problem gambling is gambling behavior which causes disruptions in any major area of life: psychological, physical, social or vocational. The term “Problem Gambling” includes, but is not limited to, the condition known as “Pathological”, or “Compulsive” Gambling, a progressive addiction characterized by increasing preoccupation with gambling, a need to bet more money more frequently, restlessness or irritability when attempting to stop, “chasing” losses, and loss of control manifested by continuation of the gambling behavior in spite of mounting, serious, negative consequences.” – National Council on Problem Gambling

At their site there are phone numbers and information provided to assist those who have a problem or know someone who does. I hope no one else experiences anything similar to what my children and I have experienced due to gambling. The losses are definitely not just material.

A weaker hand becomes stronger, depending on what position you are in.

The most important aspect of the game is not truly in what cards you have, but what position you are in.  The “button” is the dealer, and betting always starts just past this player.  The more information you have before you have to make your decision, the stronger your bet will seem. 

Because of this simple fact, a hand such as Queen/Jack suited will be somewhat weak from the blinds, but a very playable hand from the button, or just before the button. 

You should always take into consideration the position you’re playing from before deciding whether your hand is worth holding onto.

If you are willing to call, you should be willing to bet.

Playing a hand with the sole intention of “seeing more cards” is a simple way to help the player who is going to beat you build his pot with your chips.  If you’re going to play into a hand you should always have the sole intention of winning.  Calling is rarely an acceptable move, and almost never the smart move. 

If you start each hand with a bet, you instantly force each player to consider their position, their hand, and whether or not it’s worth playing against you.  This helps prevent the infamous “bad beats” that every player has had to deal with one time or another.

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Going all in should only be considered a last ditch effort in desperate situations.

Unless there is no possibility that another player has you beat, which is impossible to know before the last card has been dealt, going all-in should not happen.

This move simply allows the other players an opportunity to put you out of the game altogether.  You can make a large bet without risking your stake in the game altogether.  Newer players all-too-often play this risky move to show strength that simply is not there to begin with. 

If you have become the “short-stack” at the table, it can be a simple move to double-up and get yourself back into the game.  If you’re down to two players, it can become necessary.  But in a proper game of holdem it’s simply too risky to play your entire stack in any but the best opportunities.

If you’re already playing the game, try exercising these strategies consistently throughout and you will be sure to notice a strong upswing in your winnings.  If you’re not playing yet, don’t even bother trying without following these three simple rules.

More advanced strategy to come.

It seems that a shiny new poker book is published almost weekly.  Some of these books are written by those trying to capitalize on new found fame from having won a large televised tournament.  Others are written by players who have spent years making a living at the game.  Surprisingly, books in both categories may be of little or no use in helping players beat their home game with friends, or the local $3-$6 or $4-$8 game.  These books tend to be written with tournament and High Stakes poker in mind and the advice that is offered can be the exact opposite of what is best for a low limit game. 

We would think the man a bit weak between the ears who tried to use a guide on the mechanics of a Cadillac Escalade when performing maintenance on a Honda Civic.  Why?  Because they are two completely different cars.  Using the specified engine settings for one car on a different car would only screw it up.  Such is the kind of guidance offered for higher limit games when applied to Low Limit Hold’em.  Get this through your head and it will save you lots of money – “high limit and low limit holdem are different games”.  Sure, game rules are the same regardless of level.  However, Poker is a chip game played with cards, not a card game played with chips.  The amount of chips sitting in front of the player alters tremendously both strategy and tactics.

So the Low Limit Hold’em player needs a guide aimed at low limit games.  And, Lee Jones’ Winning Low Limit Hold’em is the definitive book on Low Limit Hold’em.

The topics covered in Winning Low Limit Hold’em are what you would expect in any Poker instructional guide; pre-flop starting hands, odds, pot odds, implied odds, deception/bluffing, raising, check-raising, folding, etc.  However, where this book excels is in its discussion of “What to do when …”

• What do you do when you have top pair and someone raises in front of you?
• What do you do when you flop two pair?
• What do you do when there is a bet in front of you and you are drawing to a flush or straight?
• What do you do when the player sitting next to you hasn’t taken a shower in several days?

Okay, that last one isn’t in the book.  But, it is the only thing I can think of that you will have to routinely face at low limit tables that has not been addressed in this book.  So I strongly recommend that you get a copy of the book.  And, think of it this way… If you win only one pot at the tables that you would not have won had you not read the book, you will have achieved about a 500% return on investment.  That’s not bad in our current economy.

It seems that a shiny new poker book is published almost weekly.  Some of these books are written by those trying to capitalize on new found fame from having won a large televised tournament.  Others are written by players who have spent years making a living at the game.  Surprisingly, books in both categories may be of little or no use in helping players beat their home game with friends, or the local $3-$6 or $4-$8 game.  These books tend to be written with tournament and High Stakes poker in mind and the advice that is offered can be the exact opposite of what is best for a low limit game. 

We would think the man a bit weak between the ears who tried to use a guide on the mechanics of a Cadillac Escalade when performing maintenance on a Honda Civic.  Why?  Because they are two completely different cars.  Using the specified engine settings for one car on a different car would only screw it up.  Such is the kind of guidance offered for higher limit games when applied to Low Limit Hold’em.  Get this through your head and it will save you lots of money – “high limit and low limit holdem are different games”.  Sure, game rules are the same regardless of level.  However, Poker is a chip game played with cards, not a card game played with chips.  The amount of chips sitting in front of the player alters tremendously both strategy and tactics.

So the Low Limit Hold’em player needs a guide aimed at low limit games.  And, Lee Jones’ Winning Low Limit Hold’em is the definitive book on Low Limit Hold’em.

The topics covered in Winning Low Limit Hold’em are what you would expect in any Poker instructional guide; pre-flop starting hands, odds, pot odds, implied odds, deception/bluffing, raising, check-raising, folding, etc.  However, where this book excels is in its discussion of “What to do when …”

• What do you do when you have top pair and someone raises in front of you?
• What do you do when you flop two pair?
• What do you do when there is a bet in front of you and you are drawing to a flush or straight?
• What do you do when the player sitting next to you hasn’t taken a shower in several days?

Okay, that last one isn’t in the book.  But, it is the only thing I can think of that you will have to routinely face at low limit tables that has not been addressed in this book.  So I strongly recommend that you get a copy of the book.  And, think of it this way… If you win only one pot at the tables that you would not have won had you not read the book, you will have achieved about a 500% return on investment.  That’s not bad in our current economy.

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I guess many of you have now got your hopes up but I won’t disappoint you. This is based on something I watched on the Channel 4 show Darren Brown: The System.

You start off with posting unsigned letters to random people telling them to bet on a certain house in a race. Say there is 5 horses in a race you could tell 200 people to bet on horse 1, 200 people to bet on horse 2 ETC. So in the end 200 people are guaranteed to win the race. 

Then you send another letter to those people who won the first race. Yet again you group them and tell them to put more money on the horse you have told them to bet on. Say there is 4 horses in the next race you tell 50 of them to bet on horse 1, 50 on horse 2 ETC. repeat the same step as before meaning 50 people are guaranteed to win.

You then take those people who have won that last race and repeat the system over again until you have as many winning people as there is horses in a race for example 10 people to 10 horses. Those last 10 people will now have won a chain of about 5 races and will believe that you have an amazing abilityof always knowing the winning horse.

Then you write to those people planing to met them all separately. Then you can try and convince them all to put on as much money as possible and thanks to your winning advice slip the prize money with you. People will be sure they are on to a winning they may even put up to £20,000 on one horse. One of those horses will win for sure and you will win a large cash prize just by simply following the laws of probability.    

The fact is that poker players do have emotions and if a player suffers a large loss then this is the time when you see a player go on the tilt and this happens when a player had a hand that they thought would win hands down but the last card drawn has gone against them which is called a bad beat.

By this point, player’s emotions start to cloud their judgement and usually take over from the logic that most players employ in their game. If you can imagine that a player has spent hours trying to build a big stack of chips and then to lose most of them in one hand is quite heart breaking and causes the player to play aggressively in an attempt to recoup their losses sooner rather than later and they start playing cards that they would fold usually.

To avoid yourself falling into this trap then you have to be disciplined enough to bite your tongue and concentrate on the game plan that won you the chips in the first place. To say that know one is invincible from the effects of a tilt then that would be a lie as even the pro’s do it, it is just a natural human reaction. If you are playing on the internet sit out for a few hands and take a breather or if you are in a casino then just leave the table for five so you can collect your thoughts and then start again.

Most poker players who have played the game for along time and this includes pro’s do not fall into the trap of a tilt as often as a standard player as they have had it done to them so many times that it is nothing new but if you are a beginner then  it is difficult. The experience of playing poker for years and years is that you know that sooner rather than later it will happen to them so they just get on with their game.

If you can control your emotions then you are on your way to becoming a great player but you have to master this as it does not happen over night and in the long run you should always stick to the game plan that you have set yourself and always think about the odds rather than hope that the cards will go your way as nine times out of ten you will lose out. 

The problem is, a lot of people just have no sense of what all of this will cost. A million dollars just does not go that far anymore. If you are fortunate enough to win a huge jackpot, you might find that it is not enough to fulfill everything you have dreamed about doing.

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Put A Price On Your Dreams

Be it just for fun, or as a metaphysical way of drawing a major lottery win to you, make an honest list of everything you dream about doing with a huge lottery windfall. The key here is to be completely honest about your dreams and also to find out the actual prices of things you dream about having or doing. A good place to start finding out prices of luxury items are magazines like The Robb Report, trade and home shows, and of course Internet searches. Take a high and low price on the items you dream of having and begin your lottery dream list.

Buy That Man a Cadillac!

If you plan on pretending you are Elvis and buying everyone you know a Cadillac, or giving them away as tips, after a million dollar lottery win, think again. A million dollars will not buy that many Cadillacs anymore. Figure out the laws of gift taxes for your country, which in some cases both the giver and the receiver must pay. There is also the issue of auto insurance for luxury or exotic sports cars. It is more expensive. This should also be reflected in your list.

Starting One’s Own Country On An Island

Although it is possible to buy your own private island, they are very pricey. If you look in the real estate section of luxury magazines you will find that most lottery jackpots would not cover the cost of many of these private islands. There is a matter of property tax that comes along with many of these pieces of real estate and trying to start your own country to avoid these taxes is not very realistic. Keep your list real. Remember that any real estate you buy will have long term annual costs such property taxes, maintenance, and insurance, and these costs should be factored into your list.

Nix The Private Island And Settle For A Luxury Yacht

A luxury yacht at times can cost as much as a private island, many have price tags bigger than most lottery jackpots. Maybe you should decide to go for something a little smaller. You will need to include the price of the boat, and the cost of such things as insurance, mooring fees, and crew. If you have dreams of sailing around on a huge yacht, not all is lost, as you can rent one. Adding a hundred grand on you list for regular yacht rentals. A private Lear Jet is another item I often hear when people are listing off their lottery fantasies, and it is one that a person can rent for a lot less than buying. However, it is your lottery list, so if you want to include the purchase, upkeep, insurance, and pilots salary, on your list find out what the that will cost and add it to your list.

I’ll Fly Everyone First Class To Bali

Take a look at first class prices. Now that you have regained consciousness you will see how much all of these high end trips are going to cost you. Remember that if you stay in a $12,000 a night suite for 10 days it will cost $120,000 plus taxes and tariffs. Start your web searches and start pricing these trips and calculate the cost of bringing guests. Include this all on your list.

But, I Enjoy Helping Others

One of the biggest factors in the downfall of lottery winners is their inability to say “no” when people ask for money. You might be tempted to give out thousand dollar tips each and every time you dine out. Do the math. 100 x 1000 = 100,000. There are 365 days in most years and people eat 2 to 3 meals a day. If you are eating at posh places the bill will be higher. A 20% tip is more than enough. Then there are all those people who will come asking you to give them $50,000. Give 20 people $50,000 and you have given away a million dollars. Include on your list how much money you are willing to give to strangers and charity. A lottery win does mean that it is mandatory for you to become a philanthropist. As a matter a fact, if you have to win the lottery to become a person who help others out, then that is pretty pathetic.

I’ll Buy The Company and Give Everyone A Raise

Do you really want that headache? Yeah, I thought not. Do not even bother putting that noise on your list.

What About Your Family’s Dreams

It is a good idea to have your spouse, or partner, complete their own lottery dream list. Have your children do lists as well. This way everyone can share in each others dreams and fantasies and see how they all relate together. It may even teach your children the value of money or a way for families to find out more about each other. On your list be detailed about just how much you would give to parents, siblings, and possibly extended family members. I have actually heard a person with a large family say they would give each one of their six siblings a million dollars if they won a lottery jackpot, which was at the time, worth about five million dollars after taxes. I am no math whiz, but how that would work is beyond me.

Add It All Up

Now that you have all your lottery dreams listed on paper, and what each will cost individually, add it up to see how much of a lottery win you need to fulfill these dreams, then play accordingly. If your dreams come to Sixteen Million Dollars, then play when the lottery reaches that point. Try putting what you once spent on smaller jackpots, towards the bigger jackpots, or better yet in the bank for investments instead. Good luck, and I really do hope all your positive dreams do come true.

1. Drinking While Playing

   Alcohol inhibits your playing ability and you need your wits about you when making plays.  This is why the casinos offer free drinks while playing.  It helps add to the house odds. You need a clear head to make good decisions at the tables!

2. No Patience

   You have to learn to wait for the good cards to come to you. Beginners will not wait on the cards and will play hands where the odds are definitely against them.  When watching the TV shows you will notice that the cameras go from table to table looking for plays.  Good players go long stretches without playing a hand.

3. Playing with Scared Money

   You can’t make good decisions if you worry about losing money that is supposed to pay the rent. You must set a budget and play within its limits. That way you can concentrate on the game and not the financial woes if you lose.

4. Overbluffing

   Good players will catch onto you real quickly and set you up for a big fall. Beginning players think they can throw big bucks down and run players away but it just doesn’t happen. Use the bluff strategically and you will win some big hands….use it too much and it will ruin you!

5. Playing in Experienced Games

   Beginners will play in games where they can’t handle the competition. Instead of playing in smaller limit games with opponents of their own skill level, they jump in against the pros. Well, you know what happens then!

Curb some of these tendencies and it will help you keep your money and some of your opponents money!

and was first brought to the Britain during the conquest of the Roman Empire. It was first played at Sumeria at around 2600 B.C.

Some says backgammon is a game of luck but others say it is as hard as chess and therefore in order for a player to win this game they also have to use their skills, apply careful strategic planning, practice probability, intuition and there will come a time that a player should also use psychology to outwit their opponent. Just like chess, it is an obstacle competition between two different groups of armies each consisting 15 men, moving around a track which is divided into 24 divisions.

Backgammon consists of a board or layout, a dice cup – use to shake the dice, thirty round stones, divided into two different colours which represent the “men”, two regular dice with numbers from 1 to 6 written on the sides, and a doubling cube – it is a dice with 6 faces with distinct marking of numbers from 2, 4, 8, 16, 32, and 64.

The objective of the game is very simple; each player should bring their men on the side of their home board and then bear their men off the board. The first player who can do that will be the one who will be declared the victor.

To start the game, each player throws the die and whoever gets the higher number will be the one to make the first move. But in the event that both players get the same number, they just have to keep throwing the dice until such time that one of them gets the higher number. All contestants will be given their respective turn and rolls two cubes. The moves will depend on the numbers cast; say the player rolls 4-2, they can move one man 6 spaces in one move or, one man 4 spaces and another for 2 spaces. In the event of doublets – it is when the player casts two same numbers, for instance 2-2 or 3-3, the one who cast this will have the privilege to make four moves instead of the usual 2. A player is said to have made the prime when they have made six consecutive points and when the blot or the single man who is on the point is moved or touched down while moving the combined cast numbers, the blot is then hit and will be removed from the board and placed in the side of the bar.

A closed board may happen if a player makes all 6 points in the home board and when this happens, the opponent who has men on the bar, they will not be able to re-enter it because there is no available point in their opponent’s home board, they can only re-enter once there is opening on the board.

Summary

The objective of backgammon is for the two opposing parties to simply bring their men on their home side and bear them off the board to win the game. To do that, the player along with luck should also apply skills, careful planning and psychology to outsmart their opponent.

One can play poker by making a deal on a hand which rotates among its players and is usually marked by a dealer button – also known as the token or buck. In playing poker, the players are required to make a forced bet – usually called “blind or an ante” in order for them to make a stake in which they will have to contest. The house dealer shuffles and cuts the cards and deals the suitable number of cards to each player one at a time. Depending on the kind of poker that is being played, the cards can be either dealt face-down or face-up. After the first deal, the players can now begin to make several rounds of betting. In the course of rounds, the players can change or replace the cards which are previously dealt and at the end of the round, all the bets that were gathered will be placed in the middle pot.

Bluffing is one of the tricks that a poker player can do if he wants to outwit other opponents. A player can do this by challenging the opponents and if no one has the guts to match his call, the pot will then be given to the bettor without even showing the cards in the hand and that is the end of the round. A showdown can happen between two players, it is when each player can reveal their previously hidden cards and then evaluate who has the highest ranking and of course in this case, whoever has the highest combination gets the pot.

The most popular variations of poker includes draw poker in which each player is given 5 or more hidden cards, this is also known as the 5-card draw. In the course of the game, the players can change or replace any cards several times. Another variant is stud poker or five-card stud in which each player receives five or more cards; some of the cards may be dealt face-up one at a time which is free for other players to see. One more variation of the poker is the community card poker. In this game, the players combine their individually dealt cards with a number of “community cards” face-up which are shared by all players. Each player will try to make best poker hand combination using the community cards including their own face down cards. In community card poker, two famous variations are commonly dealt, Texas hold “em and Omaha hold “em.

Summary

Poker has different variations that the players can choose from depending on their ability to play each game. The three kinds of poker includes draw poker or five-card draw, stud poker which is also known as the five-card stud and the famously played and dealt community card poker.