When it comes to things like romance, love, creating emotions, I do not have faith in men as a subspecies.  It is the majority of us, remember, who believe that it is possible to get a woman into bed in five minutes if they could just find that one perfect pickup line.  Romance is much more complicated than that, it is about slowly escalating a mood, tone, and atmosphere at just the precise moment.  Imagine skating on the surface of a bubble, where one little misstep could cause it to burst. 

For all the men reading this, do me a favor.  Go home to your bedroom (or dorm room, if that be the case) and take a good honest look and answer me this question, “If I were a woman, would I feel comfortable in here?”  While this may be a harsh – even embarrassing – question to answer, there are some easy affordable ways to tailor your boudoir to become the ultimate bachelor pad.

Smell:

• Don’t leave dirty clothes/laundry on the floor, buy a foldable laundry hamper and keep it – as well as your clothes – in the closet
• Avoid incense at all costs (unless specifically requested by your partner).  Since women’s sense of smell is much more sensitive than men’s, this little tidbit can save for some embarrassing mishaps in the future.
• Pier I offers scented aerosol sprays and bottled liquid scents that come in a variety of slow-released yet mild aromas.  These foster a relaxing feel and indirectly speak to your hygienic status.
• Always keep a roll of paper towels and a bottle of Febreze on standby.  You never know.

Hearing:

• Music doesn’t hurt either.  Classical music is okay, but comes off as a little cheesy.  My personal favourite group to use is Portishead, a fusion group of jazz and intentional lo-fi sound.  Other groups recommended are Enigma, Enya, Dido, Sade, Masari, and D’Angelo.

Taste:

• If you have access to any sort of fridge, have a plate of fruits pre-ready sliced.  Strawberries, pineapples, kiwis, bananas, apples, mangos, and grapes are all acceptable choices.  Chocolate is universally best with women, especially melted chocolate.

Touch:

• Buy a double bed if you don’t already own one, you are not ten years old anymore.  It’s time to grow up.
• For wet massages, grape-seed oil works fantastic and can be purchased at any supermarket.  If you don’t like that KY lubricant also works well.
• If wet massages aren’t your thing you can easily buy massage powders that absorb moisture and reduce friction, basically turning the skin to silk.  It is also very hygienic for personal use.

Sight:

• Remove all comic books, science fiction, sports, and rock n’ roll related memorabilia from bookcases, desks, shelves, and walls
• Purchase a few items that accentuate your bedroom by giving it some colour and making it stand out (a piece of artwork, a bonsai tree, a decorative water fountain). This will help make the room look less uniform and drab.
• Buy some unscented tealight candles that fit in appropriate glass holsters to use at night.  These are exceptionally cheap and will run you under twenty dollars.
• Switch to a dimmer switch as opposed to a straight incandescent light.  Certain lights create certain moods.  Fluorescent lights, for instance, give off a cold, sterile look.
• Empty your garbage container (again, fostering an atmosphere of cleanliness)
• Get rid of any unnecessary clutter around the room.  Basically anything that doesn’t add to the romantic atmosphere.  This could be books, garbage, clothes, papers, coins, knapsack, etc.  Buy a slide out drawer for under the bed and shelving units for your closet.  Cleanliness fosters respect for the woman, it shows that you care.
• Go to a department store and purchase a set of matching comforters, linens, and pillowcases to go with the décor.  Make sure there are at least two pillows on the bed.

While readers may laugh at some of these suggestions, it is important to keep in mind that university, for many, is the transition point from adolescence to adulthood.  Your bedroom is your castle.  It is an expression of your maturity level and sense of style.  At the very least you want to reflect that maturity and style to others.