Beer Pong

A great sport for college athletes that couldn’t do varsity or intramural sports.

Items required:

• 20 Plastic Party Style cups
• 2 Cups filled with water
• 2-3 Regulation Ping Pong balls (In case you lose one; trust me when you drink enough, you start losing balls.)
• A table that’s at least 6 ft. in length. (Regulation is 8 ft by 2ft)
• Beer (Unless you want to be REAL alcoholics and use like vodka or something.)
• Wit (If you can’t trash talk; you’re a jackass.)

Setup

Place 10 cups in a ‘pyramid’ triangle on each side. Starting with four on the bottom row; then 3 on the next row, etc. (see image)

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Set up water cups to the right of the player’s beer cups. These are to be used to wipe the dirt off the missed balls. Optional item: Rag. A team is comprised of two players. Two beers are given to both teams; in which they are to be evenly distributed into the 10 cups.

Object

To sink the ping-pong balls into the beer cups until all alcohol has been consumed by the losing team.

Rules

- The ball is to be thrown/bounced at least an arm’s length away from the table.

-When a player sinks the ball, the opposing team must drink the alcohol from that cup.

-Each player must rotate in drinking. (None of that pussy handicapped “ooooh I can’t drink I have to drive” shit. If you can’t handle the heat; stay out of the damn kitchen!!)

-A turn is comprised of both players on a team throwing/bouncing their balls.

-There is no specific order to which the balls are to be thrown/bounced. i.e. Both players on a team can go at the same time or the order in which the balls were thrown on your team can be reversed.

-If two balls are sank in a row by members of the same team in different cups, the opposing team must return the balls in what is called a ‘throw-back’.

-If two balls are sank in a row by members of the same team in the same cup, that team automatically wins.

-Trash talking and distractions are allowed as long as it doesn’t put the opposing player in physical jeopardy. If a player is put it physical jeopardy, his team gets a throw-back.

-When a ball is bounced an opposing team member can ’smack’ or ‘catch’ the ball.

-Losers must drink the Winner’s drinks.

Strategy

 The following are a few tips and techniques used by the professionals for peak performance and to establish a good defense along with the great offense.

-The “Yell”. When the opposing team member is about to throw; just scream at the top of your lungs. It doesn’t have to be understandable, just audible.

-Verbal Game. Trash talking is the most used way to distract someone. Phrases like “I fucked your mother.” work extremely well.  I enjoy using many ‘politically incorrect’ statements; for the shock value. Ethnic statements also have great results.

i.e. Hispanics- Something along the lines of cheap manual labor and donkey shows. Asians- Eating cats, and pork fried rice. Philippines- Their islands are like banks, every sailor’s made a deposit. Whites- Hey, how’s your sister doing? Did you guys have the baby yet? (Make sure to cover all bases so not to be percieved as a racist.)

-The Ass showing. Self-Explanitory

-The Genitalia fake-out. Call the opposing person’s name and say “Check it out.” And start to unzip your trousers and proceed to “expose” yourself. Don’t actually do it though, nobody wants to see that.

-Having female friends present is another effective method. Get them to whisper in the other teams ear and flirt and “touch” excessively. Or if all else fail, they got boobs.

Champion Players

Patrick Forney

Dean Rudder

Curtis Slone

Wesley Goldsmith

Mr. Newport

If you have any strategy suggestions or tales of Olympic pong skills; feel free to email me them at cdslone08@hotmail.com