College. So many things come to mind when the word is used: future, goals, careers, dreams, opportunities, friends, networking, and, of course the most dreadful aspect of all – money. Or, rather, the lack thereof.

Everybody has ideas of what college is like before they go; those ideas change quickly and drastically for most people. Students become jaded, sometimes seemingly overnight.

So, what exactly don’t most people know going into college?

1. Making and saving money by any means necessary will become an obsession. If you don’t have OCD when you start college, you will when you graduate. Every cent earned and spent will be meticulously calculated, something brought on by the fear of impending student loan repayments. “No way,” you say. “I’ll never be like that.” This leads to number two.
2. You will do things you never thought you would. Whether it’s stripping down to your skivvies for a February jaunt in the frozen (and undoubtedly polluted) campus pond or becoming a miser, you will change. For better or worse, you will do at least one thing you never believed possible for yourself to do.
3. The “Freshman 15” is a lie. It’s more like “Any Year 25,” and it’s a beast trying to lose the weight over the summer. That slice of pizza looks delicious and tempting now, but you’ll regret it come April.
4. Going to a college close to home and living off-campus may be cheaper, but it doesn’t mean it’s easy. With the rising price of gas and subsequent demise of the American dollar, anyone who doesn’t have a car (or a very good one) will be hard-pressed trying to get to campus and back. You’d better have a damn good job to afford a comfortable lifestyle while living off-campus.
5. Nothing is set in stone. I repeat – NOTHING. College is a gamble. Sure, you can work hard, study, do everything possible, but in the end, any roll of the dice could determine your fate. You can play all your cards right and still come up empty-handed. In case this happens, make sure your mother has a basement suitable for human life.
6. There are great and terrible times to be had. One day, you’re acing every class and feeling on top of the world. The next, your high school sweetheart is making it with a junior in the second floor ladies’ room of a co-ed dorm. So, really, it’s not that different from high school. Same drama, new campus.
7. It’s helpful to know the stereotypes that exist for every major. For example, there is the pervasive idea that all English students salivate over Shakespeare. In reality, we worship Rimbaud and the beat poets, so get familiar. Psychology majors aren’t all crazy themselves, but they know at least ten people who are, and at least half of said acquaintances must be close familial relations. This isn’t listed in the course catalogue under degree requirements, but it’s extremely helpful.
8. If you’re going to a party college for purely academic reasons, you might want to think about relocating
9. If you’re going to a Catholic-loving liberal arts college for purely party reasons, you don’t need to consider relocating; it will be done for you. Academic probation is a no-no at serious institutes.

In a nutshell, independence and all that jazz they warm you up to in high school isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Be careful, keep your chin and your guard up, and remember that “We’re all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”