I sent two of my daughters off to college last year and before they left I kept trying to tell them that they needed to learn a few things before they went. There are just things they should have their knowledge base before they head off on their own and try to study, work and have a social. Of course, they didn’t listen, but one of their friends did and she flew through her freshman year with flying colors, my girls did ok, but not as well as they wanted. Now my two are trying to play catch up this summer before they leave again. I thought it might be helpful to share this list with other students who may be taking off for college.

Here it is:

1. Keep Your Priorities Straight

   That cute boy that sits next to you in Sociology is not the project your suppose to be working on. Priorities in our house are, God first, we are Christians, Family second, School third, Then the boy or girl, whatever your preference, can fall in after all that work is done. There will be time when that work is done to go have coffee or socialize with who ever you choose and you will be grateful you waited when you walk across that stage with a diploma.

2. Take 20 Minutes a Day to Yourself

   Close the books, shut off the phone, turn off the TV and close your eyes. Breathe. Remember who you are and that you were smart enough to decide to go to college, you are smart enough to make it through.

3. Learn a Skill

   Since I am a hairstylist I taught my girls how to trim bangs, do manicures and pedicures, facials and all kinds of good stuff. It was only their friend who used the skill to make money between jobs or when she needed it. Having a skill like that can help when things get tough and you need a few extra bucks. One of my daughters got 100% on her pre-college English test. I asked her why she wasn’t helping her fellow students edit their papers. She could have made money doing that and it would also help her get a summer job with an editing firm or start her own business. She never thought about it. Find a skill you can take with you to use when you need to pick up a few bucks or get a job. If you are good with electronics, install stereos or work on other electronics people need fixed. Get inventive. Other kids may even pay you to do their wash or iron their clothes. A few bucks is a few bucks when you are struggling.

4. Don’t Put Anything Off

   If you get a syllabus at the beginning of a class and you know ahead of time that there is a huge paper due in a few weeks. Why wait? Especially if you know that you may not do well on it. Start it now and get ahead, it will ease the crunch when things are due and give you more time to socialize later.

5. Join A Study Group

   Whether you need it or not, join one. You will be making new friends and I don’t know how many times I got stumped during a test. But then I would remember a joke or something that happened when we were studying and it would all come back. I even remembered the taste of a cookie once that actually gave me the answer to an extra credit question on a test. I remembered the cookie then I remember the conversation, then the answer. Take the time to join that group and realize that it takes a village to raise a family and it takes a study group to get through a class.

6. Do Not Call Home Everyday

   I told my kids that because I have a lot of kids, but it actually helped them to not be talking everyday to the people that they wanted to be home with. They came home on weekends, because they were close enough, and it actually made it a bigger deal when they did come home. Their little sisters were so excited to see them and talk to them and hear about college. When they didn’t come home they called, the conversations were longer, but there was so much more to them and then the girls had something to look forward to every week, rather than being upset every night because they were missing everything. I told them that they needed to judge how often to call or come home and the one that called the most started to realize by the end of the year that she needed to start letting go of home and concentrating on school. She missed us so much that her grades were dropping. She started calling on the weekends to check in rather than coming home or calling everyday. Her grades started moving right back up. Most parents will probably hate me for this one but you need to decide for yourself.

7. Your Grades Do Not Get You The Job

   Someone said that to me when I was in college. I was on the honor roll and I was completely sabotaging a math grade because I was freaked out about not making my usual A or B. I had a C, heaven forbid. My math teacher pulled me aside and asked me why I was so upset. I explained that I didn’t get C’s I was on the honor roll. He laughed at me and then told me that he graduated near the bottom of his class with a C average. He was now the head of the math department and I can tell you that he was the best teacher I ever had. He didn’t just teach me math, he taught me life. His C’s weren’t what got him the job it was his ability. A grade just tells the teacher how well you test and how if you know the stuff well enough to move on. I hate grades and when I teach or tutor I now stress that grades do not tell you how smart you are. So do your best, pass the class and if you have given it 100% effort, that is all you need to do.

I have so many little tidbits of wisdom that my kids thought I should share with you but you would be here for hours reading them and you probably don’t have the time. Pack up and get moving, the first day is right around that corner. If you need help with anything or unsure how to deal with your life at college you can go to the school counselor, email me or leave your questions on the comments below and I will get back to you as soon as I can. The best place to get information on how to get through college is ask someone who has done it, talk to your fellow students who struggling right along with you or seek out the information you need to make it.