Firstly, your school may be so strict that doing some of this stuff can get you kicked out, expelled, sued, sent to detention, sent to the office, sent outside, sent to sit with the smelly kid in the back of the room or simply yelled at.

Things to do:

THE BENCH

Requires 2 people

First person must quietly sneak behind a non-expecting person, and get down on all fours so that you kind of form a table. This is the bench, the next person just casually walks up to the person and gives them a good shove, and voila, you’ve just benched somebody.

Extra tips: Do it on grass, so that nobody gets hurt, and you’ll have a much smaller chance to get in big trouble. Don’t have a 45kg kid be the bench when you’re benching a big ol’ kid.

THE RAINSTORM

Requires 1 person

When the teacher lets the class out for a break, and all the boys go to the toilet, find someone peeing on the urinal on the wall, quietly get right behind them, grab their shoulders and pull them backwards. Get the heck out of the toilet as fast as you can, while everyone wishes they’d brought an umbrella.

Extra tips: Don’t be mean, and don’t pull too hard, move to the side as fast as possible, because the “rain” tends to go straight back first, and get out of the toilet really fast, especially when more people get caught out in the “rain”.

THE OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHH

Requires anywhere from 5 people onwards

When a student does “anything”, like look out the window at a passing girl, or drops his pencil, or disses another kid, one kid starts an “oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhh”, usually the whole class must be included, and everyone also knows to go “oooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhh” as well, the real fun comes from the perplexed looks of the teacher trying to figure out what happened, or the girl/boy walking outside wonders why they cause such outbursts.

Extra tips: The more people involved (genuinely or not) ups the fun factor by a lot.

THE HOSE TEST (for boys)

Requires 2 people

Ever wondered who can pee the farthest? Well, just organise these in the quick breaks between lessons. You start right in front of the toilet bowl, and slowly take steps back while peeing into the bowl. Count the tiles on the floor as a guage, when the pee no longer goes into the bowl but all over the floor and stall doors, he must stop walking backwards and the tiles are counted. Everyone does it and compares.

Extra tips: You can find out which boys are gay in your class by seeing where they stand as they watch the competition, if they watch it from the side where they can see everyones willies, chances are they’d much rather be in the boys toilet than the girls toilet.

THE ZOO

Requires one boy, one girl

Whenever a boy lets slip which girl he fancies, everyone else must put their minds together to find out who they know from the girls class, which outside friends can help and etcetera. The idea is to end up with just the boy and the girl in the classroom locked. Use ruses, even force (for the boy only, don’t be jack*sses). If the boy is shy, and the girl is confused it can be funny, epic entertainment.

Extra tips: If the boy is really a sick boy with too much testosterone do not in any case try this, the idea is to have a good laugh, not a court trial.

BLOODY MESS

Requires: 2 packets of ketchup, 1 victim, a few people to laugh

Go to the toilet, on a toilet bowl place a packet of ketchup on the toilet, put down the lid. When the victim sits down to take a piss, the packets will explode giving you a bloody mess, and a lot of laughs.

By the way, I come from a place where teachers are there to teach, and don’t mind students having a bit of fun, and where we stay in the same classroom all day because all our classmates chose the same subjects as us, and instead teachers go to the different classrooms instead. This can be very boring without our break rituals, so I thought I would share them for people in similar conditions. For those of you who aren’t in schools like mine, please employ them safely, and after considering the consequences of trying any of these things. And as always, employ them safely.

Hope you enjoy these, if you do, part 2 will be coming out.