Disclaimer:  This is meant to entertain. 

Disclaimer 2: Feel free to replace “he” with “she” or “it” if it makes you happy.

Scoring:

8+ Sorry, kid, your teacher sucks.

5-7: Eh, moderately horrible.

3-4: So, he’s not perfect.  Quit complaining.

0-2: He might still suck, but we’re in no position to tell you that.

1. Everything he passes out is either a premade resource, directly from the publisher or from a website.

2. He tells you the test is on chapters 7-10, and then tests you on 11.

3. He ditches class to go on a field trip to an aquarium with another teacher’s class, leaving his room of thirty-or-so students to a scary substitute teacher undergoing menopause.

4. He doesn’t teach.

5. On the rare occasion that he does teach, he’s either reading directly from the book or reading from an acquired resource (see #1).

6. He gives you a look of disdain whenever you score well on a test, and snickers when you narrowly miss the bell.

7.  90% of the material you learned this year was self-taught.

8. His room has not changed at all since the last teacher who occupied the room; he takes good advantage of the previous teacher’s instructional videos, posters and handouts to “aid” his teaching.

9. The “premade resource” (see #1) does not belong to him; it belongs to another or a past teacher (see #8).

10. There are two identical questions on the test, both with identical choices.  They have different answers.

11. You ask him, “What is this?”  He says, “It’s in the book.”  You come back later and say, “It’s not in the book.”  He says, “…Go read the book.  Don’t always come to me with questions.  It’s in your book.  This is what colleges want; kids who can read.”

12. You ask to talk to him after school.  He blinks, stares at you with a slight snarl on his lips, and resumes what he was doing.

13. He doesn’t know the answers to the questions on his tests.

14. You catch him during break rehearsing his “lecture” for the day and timing the response to a canned joke.

15. You ask him a question.  He answers to something else.

16. He inspires such confidence in his students that they would actually take online quizzes to assess how crappy of a teacher he really is.