Handling Boyfriend Insults
How to handle insults from your boyfriend.
You asked your loving, caring, sweet boyfriend if you looked fat in your new jeans that cost you $100, and he shrugged his shoulders…suddenly, he’s not on your good side anymore. Boyfriends can be jerks at times. How do you handle him when he gets out of hand? Here’s your guide.
Before that heated argument begins ask yourself “Did he mean it?” 9 times out of 10 a guy will say the wrong thing at your most vulnerable moment. When your bloated and he pokes your stomach, he didn’t mean that you’re fat, he was probably just poking you. If you overanalyze the situation, you’re just going to get into a big pointless fight, and we all know what a headache those can be.
Let’s say that he did mean what he said about your favorite movie being stupid; try telling him that the insult wasn’t necessary. If your feelings were hurt, explain this to him.
And finally don’t make him give you an apology. If he comes to you and apologizes then he really does care about your feelings. A guy will apologize to you whether he thought that your movie was stupid or not if he really cares about you because he wants for you to be happy. If he doesn’t initiate an apology it can mean one of two things: either he doesn’t care enough, or maybe you took what he said as a direct insult to you when he was just making a careless comment about something.
Communication is key in any relationship so make sure that your communication lines are crystal clear. 90% of all fights in relationships are simply miscommunications.
If you find yourself constantly pouting over insults don’t keep the fight up. That is, change the situation. Either you’re taking what he’s saying wrong or he just isn’t a very considerate person. You have to make the change to make yourself happy.
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4 Comments
Gus, posted this comment on Nov 27th, 2007
I don’t know much about this kind of stuff. I’m usually the one saying the wrong thing, but I like this. It is true. Guys usually say and do exactly what they mean. They don’t have secret feelings or conspiracies.
agal, posted this comment on Jul 4th, 2008
But honestly do you really think that’s the only insults girls worry about? It portrays it as girls seeing simply being told their movie isn’t so great or being poked over “how fat do I look” is what they consider insults. What about the girls who hear name-calling and are told how horrible they are at this and that? How about the ones who have men who tell them all they do wrong constantly and make them feel horrible with all their insults to how they behave? Those who call their feelings quilt trips?
Is it right for those girls to read this article and think that their boyfriend doesn’t really mean those things 9 out of 10 times and they should just deal with it.
Most guys don’t know how to answer the fat question anyway. Some know to never say yes or pause, and some say they’ll be honest (probably will cause a bad reaction sometimes)
numb, posted this comment on Dec 24th, 2008
We’ve cut guys far too much slack. The last thing we need to be told is that again. I agree with agal. We have to put up with so much as it is. A scenario more straight to the point is something like a guy knowing how important something is, and ruining it anyway. Lying about where they’re going on the night your mom is in the emergency and exploiting that to lie and go to a bar is more on point.
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Mark, posted this comment on Nov 24th, 2007
And don’t forget that guys have a sense of humor that is different from girls. He may just be making a clutzy joke because wants to cheer you up. Just because he misjudges your mood doesn’t mean he doesn’t mean well. He’s just a guy after all. What does he know?
The secret of a good relationship is not to be too judgmental. Cut him some slack. He might surprise you with how nice he really can be!