If you are in High School, no doubt large posters adorn your school walls advertising the ever approaching dance known as Homecoming. I know in my school personally Homecoming is on everyone’s lips; who is and isn’t going, what so and so will be wearing, who they are going with, etc. the list literally goes on and on. Homecoming is extra special since it is an all inclusive dance, that is, in most schools all classes are capable of attending (unlike, such as in my school, Prom which only allows Juniors and Senior).

However fun and exciting Homecoming is, there are crucial areas you must notice and deal with before they exacerbate into a large and mood-ruining issue. Now a Senior, I have been to two Homecomings during my freshman and Sophomore year. Because of this, I feel I can speak somewhat confidentially on how best to prepare. Follow my list and you can avoid horrible situations such as the one that was forced upon me during my sophomore year at Homecoming. Have fun and good luck!

Okay so first off let’s get out a disclaimer. Though the title of this article is “Homecoming tips” most of these rules can be applied to all dances. Consider each point I make and weigh it against common sense or prior knowledge. If you don’t believe what I say then don’t follow it, I’m not here to mislead anyone but I certainly understand that my perspectives might not apply to all involved. Secondly, this is a very extensive list and is targeted at those who are new or seeking knowledge about the Homecoming dance. Veterans of Dances probably know most of the tips I will mention, however it might serve you well to simply scan over my list and see if perhaps something I say is helpful. Lastly, this list is more directed toward the males out their. Sorry ladies, but as a guy I see things through a distinctly male perspective. This is not to say that this is only directed at the male audience. I can only hope that you will read my article noting that this article is written by a male. Anyways lets get going

Lets think about this

If you are thinking about going to Homecoming, most likely you already have a girl/guy in mind to ask (if you don’t, now is a good time to consider people you might want to ask). Now that we all have someone in our minds that we are considering asking, lets examine the answers to some questions. Will going with him or her be awkward at the dance or in the future? How sure are you that the individual you will be asking will accept you as their date to Homecoming? How willing are you to accept possible rejection? Will going with person X possibly lead to a lackluster evening? Are you willing to put up with the (sometimes) steep money investment (this is especially important for the men out there)? Will your date have fun, feel awkward going with you? Are you willing to endure any possible gossip springing up about you? I could go on but you get the picture. The main question here is, do the potential positives of asking that special someone outweigh the potential negatives? If the answer is yes, you are off to a good start.

These questions are especially important to consider, especially the last one. Let’s remember that most people in the dance that bring along a date will be grinding (freaking). This is a very sexual dance that is extremely common at Homecoming. If this is awkward for you to do with your date, then you need to figure out what you are going to do to remedy this. This can mean not asking her to the dance and instead to an alternate activity, or deciding only to dance in a particular fashion. The ways to loop around this issue have many pathways, choose the one that best avoids the detriments.

Another thing to consider is the price tag. Tickets, shirt, tie, dinner, flowers, corsage, pictures, etc. There is a price tag beyond just the cost of the ticket that needs to be considered here. Spend a moment to consider all the variable and be prepared to deal with hurtles that might possibly present itself later (I will go over some of these later). My one word of advice here is that if you want to go with someone then you should try to go with that person. High school is short and it’s important to take risks even if you are uncertain of the results. this is simply a personal motto and I hope you, the reader, can exercise their ability to decide whether or not he or she wants to ask someone on their own.

Now that you have decided

Now that you have gone through the somewhat stressful task of figuring out who you are going to ask (assuming that you are still going to ask him or her), you need to figure out how you will ask that person. Now remember, the proposal is essentially your date’s gauge in measuring how much you want to go with him or her. Bringing flowers to her randomly one day and asking her if she wants to go might get the job done but fails to capture how much she means to you or how much joy and inspiration she brings to you. Here are some general rules:

1) Figure out a unique way of asking her that emphasizes the relationship that the two of you have thus far developed. If you two have a strong inside joke or perhaps a tradition, exploit this fact. It will make the proposal that much more sweet and meaningful. The proposal, again, is like your resume to a job, you are trying to woo her to go with you.

2) Don’t be safe. It is okay to embarrass yourself while asking her.  Who cares If your proposal involves humiliating yourself a little? After all if she means something to you, you will be able to withstand a little bit of embarrassment for her; It makes the proposal all the much more meaningful and displays your willingness to go outside your comfort zone for her.

3) Flower choice. If you are asking her you must give her flowers (roses). Also don’t simply assume to go with the bouquet of red roses. The color and amount say a lot about the terms in which you are asking her. If you get red roses when you simply want to go as friends, you might give off the wrong vibe. A quick query in google reveals the different meanings of different colors of flowers. Use this to your advantage and choose the right flower for the job. I can only hope you will research the perfect color of rose to ask with. The amount of roses you give her also is important to consider. In my experience it is simply best to give her a dozen or so roses of the color you so chose.

4) Do it soon. Don’t simply assume that she is yours to ask, assume that there are other guys out there considering asking her. By asking her as soon as possible, you give yourself better insurance that you can get her as your date. If by some chance you find that another is to ask her embrace this. Don’t simply use the rule “first come first serve” and instead address the man who might ask her. By using the “first come first serve” rule you might cause  an awkward triangle tension and possible resentment from the party you beat out. Be civilized and approach this person stating that you wish to settle who should ask. Get someone to find out who she is more willing to go to Homecoming with. These methods are the best ways to resolve this situation without putting undue stress on the girl.

Quickly I want to discuss the importance of small things that really have no category but are just as important. Flowers should only be presented at the very moment of asking. Think in advance if you want to kneel or not when you ask her. I feel it’s cute and appropriate if you are asking a girl, however others say it is only good when asking someone you have intimate feelings for. Be wary of telling too many people who you are asking to Homecoming, secrets spread fast. If all possible, find a mutual friend to determine how she feels about you asking her before you ask, this helps avoid an awkward rejection. It is also my personal opinion that you should only ask one girl to a dance, if that girl turns you down do not be searching for other dates. Nobody wants to feel like option number two and it also diminishes the importance of the first person you asked. 

Please note that I told this entire article from the perspective of a guy, however I feel that both guys and girls should be able to ask people to dances and that that job isn’t simply reserved for guys.

So She said Yes

Good for you! the hardest step is over, but now preparation begins. A hard and tedious task that involves plenty of stress for both you and the others you are going with. However, following a few simple rules can reduce the burden.

1) Go with a group.

Going with a group of friends to a dance is most often the best and smartest choice. By going with a group you offset the responsibility of planning to several people all of whom are equally incentivesed to get a schedule down. Also, going with friends helps squander any possible awkward tensions between you and your date by giving both yourself and your date other options on whom to talk to. The most important reason though is that Homecoming is at heart a social gathering and is so much more enjoyable when spending it with your buddies.

2) Make a conscious effort to plan

This is your place to state your voice and have your opinion heard. If you and your date want to go to a certain place, suggest it to your group early before you have any dissenting view-points. This will help you get your way on where to go. Remember, you want to make the time with you and your date the best as possible, therefore if you have the power to plan you have a better chance to organize the event in a way you feel will best meet that goal. Now remember, it is especially important to make everyone feel happy. Appearing close minded in planning with the group will lead to tension. If there is a dissenting view either concede or get the group to vote on what is best. Remember, friends first and then planning second.

Just for general knowledge, you should be ready to plan dinner, transportation, pictures, any after dance activity (not recommended), a return home time, and the amount of time you can delegate to each activity. This topic will be explored more in depth later.

3) The basics in preparation

Both the boy and girl (or two boys or two girls, I don’t judge here) have things they need to do that is separate from the group activity. Ordering corsages/ boutonnieres is extremely important. For the guy, getting an outfit with a tie that matches his date. For the girl, getting a dress that makes you feel pretty and accentuates you in some way however is appropriate for Homecoming (Remember! Semi-formal). For the guy and girl, knowing the schedule, transportation, locations of interest, etc. There are a lot of things to prepare for.

Though this seems like a lot to digest, once you actually get into the preparation you will find this is all common sense things and the only thing that will take you any sort of real time would be the question “where do you want to eat dinner at?”. The entire outline of events related to the group shouldn’t take more than one sit-down. Individual activities like choosing the dress might take longer, but they are enjoyable.

4) Be correct

Remember, Homecoming is a semi-formal event. This means a dress shirt but no jacket along with dress pants, belt, shoes, tie, undershirt, underwear, socks. For a girl this means high heals, and a appropriate dress. As a quick note, guys should wear a white shirt that has a tie that matches his date. This way you accentuate the girls outfit while displaying that you two are a dancing couple. Pay for your tickets early, in most schools ticket prices increase as the time before Homecoming decreases.

Schedule

There are a lot of things you need to nail down if you want to have a successful Homecoming. A group’s schedule should go something like this: Meeting place, Pictures, Dinner, Homecoming, Done. I state this because each of these factors are as critical as the next and it is important to bunker down exactly when, where, and how each of these will be taken care of. Again, plan with your group and come to a consensus that satisfies all individuals in the group. That way no one is sour at the outcome of the planning.

Since schedule is a rather large subject I will devote a small section to this topic alone. The members of your group should meet together and discuss this topic with some depth. It is fine if your entire group can’t show for this meeting, simply have those who wish to have their opinions voiced and go from their. Approach this meeting with an open mind. Be willing to concede to other people’s opinions; in this meeting it is more important to maintain harmony rather than getting your way. If you push too hard for what you want you might come off as pushy or rude to the other members. This might cast a poor light over the proceedings and subsequently the dance.

A schedule should consist of a meeting location, a picture spot, dinner, the dance, and any possible after-party. The meeting should be a general location for everyone to gather in one spot. It is a good idea to have the meeting location be the picture location. Swallow your pride and allow your parents to come and indulge their un-dieing urge to capture every moment of your life on film. Take a few pictures (of yourself, your date, and your group) and then go with whoever is transporting you. Dinner should be a location near by. Choose a place that won’t be too crowded. It is an excellent idea to make reservations in advance if all possible. Dinner (in my experience) is usually the hardest thing to decide. Choose a nice restaurant, nothing too fancy or too casual. Remember, Homecoming is a semi-formal dance, dinner should be the same thing. The dance is self explanatory, just be prepared to get to the place hosting your dance in the appropriate time. It is my own opinion that it is not necessary to get to the dance right on time. Be willing to go into the dance a few minutes later if situations force you down this route. Getting their on time will give you a few extra minutes of dancing at the expense of standing in line for a while. Choose whichever is best for your group. Lastly the after party. For a dance like homecoming, I tend to steer clear of the after-party. It is a tiring dance that really doesn’t need an after-party. If you do have one planned then feel free to go, I simply am sharing my advice.

Be sure to schedule out how long each activity should last. Also be sure to be willing to break the schedule. If things run over the scheduled time, don’t be worked up about it. Instead go with the flow and make sure you have a good time doing it. Think of the schedule as a rough sketch that is willing to be improvised. No one will have fun if there is a time-Nazi in the group.

A day before

So it is exactly one day before the dance. Let’s get some things settled.

Date/You willing to go?

Outfit checked and ready?

Accessories charged/ready?

Corsage/Boutonniere ready?

Money saved?

Tickets found?

Cell phone charged?

Do you have your ID card

Appearance good?

This is an incomplete list so please consider your own situation and use this as a general guide not an absolute one. It is a good idea to make a physical check even if you already had once before a day before. Example, even if you checked your outfit out yesterday, take it out and examine it before returning it into a safe spot. A little bit of insurance is much better than finding out the night of that something horrid happened.

As an added note here, it is important you keep up your hygiene, possibly acne treatment, and sleep leading up to this dance. We don’t want any surprises.

Anything else boss?

If you feel you are prepared than you are well on your way. However let us briefly consider some things.

Firstly, will you pay for your date’s meal? If you are going as friends this is ill-advised. This might be mis-construed by her or your friends leading to an awkward evening. Even if you two are going as a couple think deeply on the subject before making your decision. This can be awkward and only do this if you are positive that you want to do it, or give that message. Whatever your decision, always plan to be able to pay for both your and her meal while still having left-over money. on the opposite side of this spectrum, If she doesn’t want to pay for her own meal than it is up to the boyfriend to pay for it. This is a good transition into the girl aspect of things. If you are a girl always try to pay for your own meal, if the boy insists that he should pay do not resist and simply thank him for doing such. Simply refusing for the boy to pay your meal, especially after he insists is unnecessarily cold and casts a looming shadow over the nights proceedings. Give us guys a break okay?

Second, always get individual checks. The least you want to do is go through the awkward process of exchanging money which more than not can leads to confusion. You want the night to be as hitch-less as possible.

Third, accessories

The general rule is less is more. Don’t bring ipods, makeup, things your “might” need, gifts, or anything ridiculous that takes up space. This is a dance you are going to, those items are either sitting in your pockets, have an elevated chance of being stolen, or sitting in a bag where you can’t use it. It is a good idea to bring the bare essentials. That being said, there are a few items that fit into this “essential” category

1) Breath mints

Don’t be stupid guys or girls. The biggest turnoff is a bad breath. Just get some, period.

2) Cell phone

I don’t feel this is really necessary to say but if something happens to you or your friends you need to be able to contact the authorities or family. It is super unfortunate, but bad things happen on nights like these. It is always good to prepare

3) Camera

Maybe you weren’t expecting me to say this. Always bring a camera to capture the moment. If you feel you have an adequate picture cell phone than I would expect you to use that. If not, get yourself a small camera. The reasoning behind this is that the memories of this night will be something you will cherish for the rest of your life, it is important that you have something physical that you can reminisce about in later years. You will regret if you don’t bring your camera. Also, don’t depend on others to bring their camera. Just bring yours.

I want to make a quick note about makeup. I was up in the air for a while about whether or not to include this on the list but eventually I tossed this. Your guy should like you the person not you the pretty face. No amount of makeup you put on will make him love you any more or less, it ends up just being a nuisance in the end. Make sure you look the way you want when you leave the house and then forget about it. Your boy more likely than not won’t even notice. Again, it is a personal decision on whether or not you want to bring it, but I would suggest just leave it at home.

Forth, Pictures?

No I’m not talking about your pictures, I’m talking about school pictures. Most schools offer professional pictures at or before the dance of you and your partner. Consider whether or not you want to explore this route. Personally, I have never done this but that was mainly due to the preference of my date. Choose what best works for you.

Okay it’s homecoming

Okay, so tonight is the culmination of several weeks of planning. Lets do this right.

Be sure to pick up your flower for your date and get dressed. Pack away those things you have decided to bring and walk out that door with confidence. When you first see your date you MUST compliment them on how they look amazing regardless of how they actually look. You might want to dwell on the subject of how good they look for a little while. Be sure to smile when talking and don’t just engage your date but rather the entire group you are going with.

Don’t allow anything awkward to happen. Just brush it off and simply continue the cheery subjects. We want to avoid any negatives tonight. Avoid confrontation even if it means you must be more permissive than you normally would be. Use your best judgement on this. I will go into this in more depth in a moment.

At dinner choose something light to eat. It will give your date a good impression and it will be better when you are dancing. Before leaving the house for a dance, I sometimes eat a power-bar so that I will eat less at dinner. It also ends up being cheaper which is a double benefit. Tonight is not the time to gorge yourself.

After the meal excuse yourself to the restroom. This will be the last good moment where you can relieve yourself, clean yourself up. Don’t leave that restroom until you have finished everything and are satisfied with how you look. Pop in a breath-mint or two after this and check your teeth.

At the dance read your date. You want to make him or her enjoy his or herself; never put him or her in a situation that he or she feels uncomfortable in. Conversely, don’t allow him or her to do something that puts you in a situation you are uncomfortable with. I know i said to be a bit more permissive but do this only when it doesn’t compromise your comfort or morals. For example, if your friend does some annoying quirk that upsets you simply let it go. It doesn’t hurt you and we are trying to avoid any negatives. If your friend, on the other hand, is grinding up on you in a manner that makes you feel uncomfortable don’t allow it. Simply turn around and dance in a different manner with that person.

Lastly, avoid alcohol at all. Not only do schools throw out students who fail the breathalyzer but alcohol does not lead to a good night. Alcohol in the most extreme cases make people make stupid decisions that can lead to loss of life. In more moderate cases it still leads to stupid decisions most of which one wouldn’t make when their mind is clear. It simply is a bad idea to partake in alcohol, especially if you are attending a school dance. If you wanted to drink alcohol go do something else. Homecoming was meant to accentuate the relationship between you and your date, there are other outlets that are more accommodating of people who enjoy liquor.

After the dance

Okay, so the dance is over. Did you have a good time? More importantly did my article help at all? ( No seriously please comment). Whether or not you had fun there are some things you need to do.

1) Find out if your date had fun

If she had fun than you did well. Whether or not you had fun if he or she had fun than it is mission accomplished. Use a mutual friend to derive this information. On a quick side-note if someone asks you whether or not you had fun, you had fun. I don’t care what you actually think, to everyone else it was adequate/great but never poor. Of course, if a fight occurred or something so obvious it would be naive to ignore it, then remark on it.

2) Things

Upload those pictures you took to you computer. You might want to back-up those pictures for safe-keeping but that is up to you. If you want to post them onto a social-networking site like facebook, make sure you get permission from everyone in the photo. Check to make sure you have all your accessories and money. You might want to dry your corsage or boutonniere so that you might be able to save it forever. It is just me but I always write a detailed report about the night when it still is fresh in my mind. That way later on I might be able to refer back to that.

3) Comment on my article

Okay, so you don’t really need to do this but this has been my largest and most heart-felt article yet. I hope that you might be able to write some constructive criticism. Along with that, if there are any gaps in my article be sure to mention them so that others reading my article might know them. On this note, make sure to check in the comment sections for those things I possibly could have missed. If I feel they are positive additions I will add them to the article!

Thank you!

       GreenSunshine