Alright so there’s this really hot girl you like and you have no idea what to do to bag her. You’ve tried everything. You sent her texts every hour saying, “Hey.” You bought countless amounts of the cheapest flowers that she was highly allergic to. You woke her whole neighborhood trying to sing to her in the moonlight and ended up running from an angry mob. You constantly stare at her in class and occasionally drool. You sound like a baby trying to talk to her when she asks, “What was the homework yesterday?” You fill her locker with anonymous love notes. You get excited and wave back when she waves at her friend behind you. You try to walk extra cool, but end up tripping on your face. You drink at the water fountain and as she passes you spray your crotch area with water because you’re too busy watching her. She finally sends a text back to you to be nice and you reply lol happy face to everything she sends you. You “bump” into her at the mall and walk behind her like you’re on a date.

Well you’re going about it all wrong! First of all go to the grocery store and buy the biggest plastic bag you can find. Now when you “bump” into her at the mall next time make sure you have the bag. Run up to her and throw the bag over her head! Viola, you just bagged the hottest girl around!

You should probably run now…before the cops show up.