Nostalgia – Is it silly to be sentimental

Today I sat around a group of elderly people aged 65 to 85 and heard them talk for hours about the things they did in their younger years. A 65 year old man talked with fond remembrance of his younger days on the mission field. An 80 year old man about how his dad took him out hunting when he was just a kid. And another 70 something year old woman talked about her son when she was a young mother. While they all had different stories to share, what they did have in common was that distant look of reliving those magical memories in front of their eyes all over again.

Capturing the past

There is something in our human nature that makes us want to hold on to something. It could be a person, place, a season or just a moment. Art and photography are great examples. What both the artist and photographer aspire to do is to capture a moment, freeze-frame it in such a way that they can always go back to it, re-live it and nurture the emotions that they felt when the event happened, all over again in their mind or heart. My mother would sometimes pull out all her jewels and go through it giving my dad a running commentary of who gave it to her, when and for what; moments that left my dad shaking his head and giving her a quizzical look. But ever so often, she would pull out all the family albums once in a couple of months and pour over every single photograph slowly, one by one, sometimes by herself or sometimes showcasing them to guests who are visiting after a long time. Her solitary moments with the albums were almost always accompanied by smiles, sighs and sometimes tears of joy.

As humans I think we naturally resist change. While some change may be preferred, most times change comes upon us even when we don’t want it. In other words, change is a type of loss, even when that change is healthy or beneficial. I just turned 30 a few weeks ago. The day of my birthday I was sitting back and reminiscing of the ‘good old days’; days I played basketball in our yard with my little brother and sister; when my dad got me my first bicycle; when I first danced with a girl at the school farewell party. And while I would love to go back and relive those moments again, I certainly would not want to stay there. We all need to move on and we know it. But that does not necessarily make ‘moving on’ any easier.

It’s in the past, forget it

I’ve realized that by nature, I’m a sentimental person. I still have memories in the form of papers, pictures, and odd misfits that I hang on to from years past. My sister is exactly the same. Maybe even ‘worse’ than me in a sense. When I met her a few years ago, she handed me a package of letters, clippings and notes that I had collected as a child and left behind when I left the country for my higher studies. And since then, she had taken the grueling task of collecting and carefully safe-guarding them with her through all those years. What she handed me was a package of the last 15 years of my life, not to mention about 5 – 7 years of her holding on to it for me. One of my friends saw that package and laughed. He thought it was silly that we would hold on to something for so long when we had no need for it at all. He was right, I had no need for it. And yet in a way, I did – it was the only physical connection to my past, the last 15 years of my life that I would never get back again. And to hold those 15 years in my hands and relive those moments all over again was precious to me.

I understand that some people may have had a troubled past. A past full of abusive parents, financially hard days or shattered marriages. And their life might be the best it ever has been in a long time…maybe the best it has ever been. Maybe they don’t want to remember their past or relive those moments. And that’s ok. And yet, while they enjoy the better days now, isn’t that very season, something they would not want to forget many years later? It is too precious and there is certainly nothing silly in feeling so.

The Gift of Memory

I come back to that opening scene of those elderly people sitting around and reminiscing. And I think to myself, where will I be another 30 years from now? Will I remember everything I had been through? Will I remember the people in my life? Will I remember writing this article? It is not my place to say that nostalgia is a good thing or that everyone must have it. But I can say this – I consider ‘memory’ a beautiful gift and it is certainly what gives us that depth of discernment, the acknowledgement of self, and what makes us all the more human.

And in my solitary moments I often find myself telling God just one thing – someday when I am old and senile, I would not mind whatever disease or ailment I had, whether it was arthritis, diabetes or hypertension. I just pray that I don’t get one particular disease or condition – Amnesia (partial or complete loss of my memory). I would give anything to hold on to those precious memories – my only touch with a life once lived with Joy. And may that never be taken from me….