There have been a number of books, fold out pamphlets and supporting materials written on rape and sexual assault. I feel that a very important group of the population has been short changed and left out, the teenager. We don’t give them the credit for understanding what is happening in the real world or the information that will help them when faced with this type of situation.

Not only have I been in the Law Enforcement Field for over 30 years, but also I am a father of two daughters. (Being a parent is a very trying experience) For the last twelve years I have been working in a college campus setting, dealing with approximately 30,000 students on three campuses.

I have learned many lessons trying to reach young adults. First, unless a book is assigned to them to read they probably will not pick it up and read it. Second, if they do pick up something to read, they tend to lose interest in about 10 minutes. Third, most teenagers’ feel they know everything and their parents know nothing. Fourth, a tragic situation will never happen to them.

When I decided to write about sexual assaults I tried to keep these four lessons in mind. I wanted the information short, to the point and direct. I feel that teenagers deserve very straight, honest approaches to crime problems and the preventive measures they can take. Of course, not all techniques work 100% of the time, but some approaches work better than others. I have shared with my daughters this information but like most teenagers, they will listen to almost anyone but their parents. I hope someone reads this booklet and passes the information on to them. If they hear it from someone else it might make sense to them.

Both my daughters have finished college and graduated from the University of Michigan, and are into their chosen careers. I wrote this booklet specifically with the teenage group in mind. The teenager is the prime candidate to be at the wrong place at the wrong time and become a victim. If a teenager can pick up this booklet, read it in about ten minutes, and walk away with one or two important ideas, they will be more prepared for the encounters they will face.

Most sexual assault books are very confusing when it comes to the self-defense sections. I feel there are only three or four very simple moves that are easy to use and extremely effective. Almost every self-defense instructors feel they have the answers to self-protection, but they try to teach too much and tend to lose a young audience.

Today’s teenagers lack the experience and awareness that can keep them out of the dangerous situation. They are too trusting and become easy prey for the dangerous predators who live among us.

Understanding Rape and Sexual Assaults

The first item we must understand is that the crime of rape is NOT an act of passion. Rape is sexual intercourse that is a callus, calculated, extreme ”Experssion of Anger and Power.” This act is conducted under duress, intimidation or deception, without consent and effected by force or violence.

Sexual assault is the act of sexual abuse; it is the threat of or actual touching, feeling, caressing or foundling of a victim, without consent, for sexual gratification. The common element in rape or sexual assault is the unwillingness or lack of consent of the victim

Sex crimes are based in the male fantasies and are the peak of male aggression. One person’s power or will is forced upon another, thereby stripping the victim of their self-esteem, will power, and control. These crimes are not based on love or intimacy, but on the need for self-gratification based on hostility, hatred, and contempt for the opposite sex. “Sex crimes destroy!” Remember a rape or sexual assault victim is a VICTIM.

The Key to Preventing Rape and Sexual Assaults

In my opinion there is a key to not becoming a victim, the key is COMMON SENSE. A lot of sexual crimes can be avoided, by not placing yourself in a situation or atmosphere conducive to this type of crime.

Case Study #1 – Stalking

Kathy was living alone in a local apartment complex. She wanted to do her laundry and put her clothes in a basket, and then walked down the hall to the laundry room. Kathy loaded the washer and returned to her room. In approximately twenty minutes, she returned to the laundry room to switch her clothes to the dryer. About thirty minutes later Kathy returned to get her dry clothes. She placed them in her basket and returned her apartment.

Kathy decided to go into the bedroom and began to sort her clothes on top of the bed. Her back was to a walk-in closet. As she began sorting her clothes, an assailant jumped out of the closet, grabbed her around the waist from behind, knocked her to the bed, and jumped on top of her. The subject then tied both of Kathy’s hands to the top bedpost, with one leg to the bottom post. Then he proceeded to rape Kathy and took her new engagement right from her finger as he left.

During the rape the rapist told her how he watched her going back and forth to the laundry room and know she never locked her door during these short trips.

What do we learn from Kathy’s experience? 1) Kathy did not expect the unexpected. We all become complacent and do not take the time to look at what is going on around us, especially when we are doing mundane tasks. If Kathy had been more alert, she would have seen this assailant lingering in the halls. 2) Kathy failed to lock her apartment door when she left to go to the laundry room. Kathy felt, like most young people do,” something like this will never happen to me.” Kathy learned to keep her eyes and ears open for anything that did not look for appear right, and to always follow her instincts.

Case Study #2 – Party

Judy just graduated from high school and began her first year of college. She spent all day moving into her new dorm. Later, her new suite mates talked her into going to a mixer at the local fraternity house. Judy did a lot of partying in high school but never drank much because she knew she would have to deal with her parents. Now Judy was all on her own.

Judy began drinking at the party and before long felt light headed and sick. She met Matt, a fraternity member, and he let her crash in his room. Matt gave Judy another drink, which he made from a makeshift bar next to his bed. After drinking it she passed out. The next thing Judy remembered was being awakened by someone on top of her tugging at her clothes. Judy, still not fully in control of her faculties, was unable to fight off her attacker and passed out. She was not only raped but sodomized as well.

Judy has learned two very valuable lessons, 1) Most campus rapes occur within the first few months of a freshman year. It’s quite an adjustment leaving the security of your home and parents and being thrown into new situations and surroundings where you must make good, fast value judgment. 2) Never take a drink from a stranger; you might not know everything that was put into it.

Case Study #3 – Study Date

Cindy has known John for about two years. They became friends but never really went out on a date. John began to develop feelings for Cindy and wanted to start a relationship, but Cindy just wanted to remain “friends.”

One Sunday evening, John came over to study with Cindy. Both Cindy and John began wrestling around on her bed. John became more and more aggressive. He pinned Cindy down on the bed and tried to kiss her. Cindy turned her head away, which made John furious. John began pulling at Cindy’s clothes and also slapped her across the face and then raped her.

Their victims know most rapists and date rape is on the rise. Cindy placed herself in a situation that became uncomfortable and uncontrollable.

We learn from these three case studies, COMMON SENSE, could help avoid all three situations. Remember, “the best defense is a good offense” and you must learn to think. If you feel uncomfortable remove yourself from the situation. If it doesn’t feel right then it isn’t

Case Study #4 – Homecoming

Sandy and Mark have been dating for about a month. They’ve been, as Sandy puts it, “getting together,” but haven’t had sexual intercourse. Homecoming was coming up and Sandy and Mark decided to go to the Homecoming football game and the Homecoming dance. Mark brought a bottle of Schnapps and they both shared it throughout the game. Mark said the Schnapps would keep them warm. After the game, Sandy and Mark went home to change. Sandy bad been looking forward to the dance because it was her senior year and she wanted to make the most out of her last year of Hight School.

Mark picked Sandy up and they went to a mutual friends house for a pre-dance party. Most of their friends were at the party and the drinks flowed freely. All the couples left the party together, and then went to the dance.

After the dance, Mark and his friends rented a motel room for a post-dance party. When Sandy and Mark arrived the party was going “full steam” and everyone was helping them-selves to the keg of beer, which was tapped in the middle of the room. After an hour of drinking, Sandy told Mark she wasn’t feeling well and wanted to go home. Mark led Sandy to the bedroom and they both laid down to take a break. The two began to kiss passionately and Mark began to go a little further then they had gone before. Sandy told Mark to stop, but Mark replied, “you know you really wanted to” and kept trying to go further and further. Sandy felt she had no choice and finally submit to sexual intercourse.

After Mark dropped Sandy off at her home she fell into a deep depression and cried sporadically all night and into the next morning. Sandy finally told her mother what had happened the night before. Sandy’s parents charged Mark with rape, and Mark was found guilty. To this day, Mark still doesn’t understand what he did wrong, he is convinced that when Sandy said “No” she really meant “Yes” and wanted to be led into the sexual relationship.

In this case study we learn that mixed signals and contrary body language is a key factor in DATE RAPE. Drugs and alcohol decrease inhibitions, cloud judgments, and provide excuses for a person’s actions. You must set limits and communicate these limits. Use common sense, if a situation begins to get out of control, speak up and let your feelings be known. You have a right to say “No”.

Protect Yourself

Throughout the process of socialization, we grow up with certain beliefs and expectations. Women and men are expected to fulfill certain accepted roles. In the past, a women’s role has been a passive one, which could lead to low self-esteem and self worth. We were always told that the women are the “weaker sex” and need the protection of “the much stronger male.”

A rapist who is looking for a victim, understands what makes up a good victim. An attacker will look for someone who has low self-esteem, a poor self-concept, and very self-critical. He will know that the victim is looking for self-assurance and acceptance. The victim is sometimes looking for love or a love substitute and a need to feel accepted. The rapist will prey on the need of the victim. Many potential victims stand out like a red flashing light.

The way one walks, talks, and carries themselves can tip off a would-be attacker that they are an easy target. Some victims project negative body language. To counter this one should walk briskly and with confidence. Waling with your head up will display a positive attitude. You must always be aware of what’s happening around you. Always look directly at people so they know you see and recognize them. A rapist is looking for someone he can exercise total control over.

Remember, a rapist has his assault planned out; you must do something that will force him to become confused and not be able to follow his plan. The two biggest assets an attacker has is “your fear” and the “element of surprise.” These are tow critical components to a rapist’s plan.

Protect Yourself

In most books or reading materials, the question of “should I fight or submit,” is a very personal decision. It’s my opinion that there is only one decision, and that’s to fight, bite, scream, grab, scratch, kick, poke or do anything you can do to make it a very unpleasant encounter for the perpetrator.

The Bureau of Justice Statistics reports that, women between the ages of 16 and 24 are 3 times more likely to be raped than an older women. In 75% of the rapes the rapist is unarmed. 71% of the women who physically resist are not victims of a complete rape, and 45% of the victims who did not resist we injured. Based on these statistics, I feel that it’s more to a women’s advantage to resist then submit. Also, when a rape case goes to a jury, a jury is less likely to question the victims’ account, if she resists, even though no resistance needs to be established for a successful prosecution.

These are three goals when using self-defense on an attacker:

1. Create pain
2. Stop the attack and
3. Create distance

As we discussed earlier you must “create pain” to you attacker, not just to get him angry but you must strike or kick to disable him. Even if this goes against all your learned principles, you must meet “force” with a greater “force”.

The rapist will not be kind and gentle, but will use fear and violence. You must be prepared to counter with surprise and speed. You also have determination and self-confidence on your side. Your second goal is to “stop the attack.” You must use any means at your disposal to accomplish this goal. Remember, no one has the right to attack you for any reason. The third goal, “create distance” is very important. Once the attack is stopped you want to run away. You are not going to stand there and fight toe to toe with your attacker.

Self-defense is just the use of common sense. You don’t have to study some type of self-defense for years before you can defend yourself. The following four movements will work in most situations. These movements have been around for years; they are very simple but effective.

1) Grasp

2) Elbow Smash

3) Stomp

4)  Eye Gouge

Grasp: If an attacker grabs you from behind, around the waist, you immediately swing you hips to the left. Than swing your right arm down, grasp anything you can grab, as hard and as much as you,,, can (in the groin area) and pull straight up. This should break the hold, now you can “create distance.”

Many years ago in my first self defense class I learned two important concepts, which I can pass on to you.

1) “The firstest with the mostest leaving him the leastest.” Anytime you can

get a kick, grasp, strike or knee to the groin area, do it.

2) Follow-up, always be ready to continue with another defense tactic if the first doesn’t work.

Elbow Smash: If grabbed from behind, bend your arm to a 90-degree angle. Make a fist and swing your elbow into the attackers solar plexus, (middle of the chest where the ribs meet)  as hard as you can. After the attacker releases his hold, “create distance.”

Foot Stomp: Your target is the attacker’s instep. Raise you leg and stomp down on the attackers instep as hard as you can, with your heel. When the attacker releases his hold, “create distance.”

Eye Gouge: take your fingers and poke or gouge them into both eyes of your attacker. If possible place your hands along the side of the attacker’s head and use you thumbs to gouge at his eyes. When the attacker releases his hold, “create distance.”

If you think you are going to stand toe to toe with an attacker and fight it out, you are sorely mistaken. Once you are able to “stop the attack” you must “create distance,” in other words, get the HELL out of there, Run, Scream, and Run.

Important

1. If you’re going to take action do it and don’t hesitate
2. Be ready to follow up with a second, third ore even fourth move
3. “Create Distance”
4. “Hurt” him
5. Scream, Scream, Scream, there are studies that show if a victim screams “fire” she is more likely to get someone to call for help
6. Use the element of surprise and strike quickly

Helpful hints and Weapons at Your Disposal:

Use your teeth-bite and tear anything you can get a hold of

• Front or sidekick to the knee
• Strike to the nose, with your fist, elbow, open hand, or your head
• Never let the attack become mobile: If you are attacked at your vehicle throw your keys away. This will make your attacker change his plans and you might be able to create distance.
• If you are in a room attack the room, for example, throw a lamp, book or anything you can get your hands on at the attacker or through a window. Destroy the room.
• Use you head and do a head butt
• Spray your attacker with hair spray or bug repellent spray
• Spray your attacker with OC spray
• Stab your attacker with a rat-tail comb
• Cut your attacker with the edge of a credit card
• Stick your attacker with a hairpin (in the eye)
• Stab him with a finger nail file
• Carry and use your keys as a weapon, (between your fingers) to strike, or tear with
• Always keep your car doors locked
• When possible walk with others and not alone
• Carry a whistle and blow it when you are in trouble
• Carry a personal alarm with you at all times
• Park and walk in a well-lit area
• Carry a few single dollars in a money clip. If an attacker stops you, on the pretext of a robbery tell him this is all the money you have and throw the money clip one way while you run the other.

Pittfals of using a weapon:

• If the weapon fails, you are ultimately stuck; your life may be in jeopardy
• Weapons can be taken away and used against you
• There might be problems getting to the weapon in the first place

Final Thoughts:

Remember you must learn to protect yourself. The police cannot and will not always be around and the only person you can really count on is yourself. Using good common sense, keeping yourself out of dangerous and compromising situations in the first place, with will be the best protection you have. Stay calm and use you mind as your first line of defense.

Demonstrations

The Grasp (photo by Frank Pesta)

The Elbow Smash (photo by Frank Pesta)

The Eye Gouge (photo by Frank Pesta)

The Kick to the Knee (photo by Frank Pesta)

 The Knee to the Groin (photo by Frank Pesta)

The smash to the nose (photo by Frank Pesta)

The Stomp (photo by Frank Pesta)

About the Author:

Frank A. Pesta has over 30 years in the law enforcement field. He’s held the positions of Patrol Officer, Patrol Supervisor, Detective, Detective Lieutenant and Acting Chief of Police. At the present time he is a Training and Crime Prevention Officer for the Macomb College Police Department. Officer Pesta is an Emergency Medical Technician as well as an Evidence Technician.

Officer Pesta serves as a part-time instructor for the Police Continuing Education Department at Macomb Community College and has instructed at the Police Academy. He has authored numerous Michigan Law Enforcement Officers Training Council programs and his work has been published in a number of National Police Journals and Training Manuals.

Acknowledgements:

I would like to personally thank the following, for help with my demonstrations:         

Demonstrators:           

Miss. Rachael Pesta

Miss. Kelly Pesta

Mr. Andrew Arbanas

Disclaimer

The author or publisher makes no warranties written or implied that reading this booklet will prevent or minimize injury or damage resulting from any particular assault.  Nor will the author or publisher assume any responsibility for injury or damage that may be caused by reading this booklet or by following, or attempting to follow its instruction.