All over the world people drive. Among all of the drivers that exist, three are the most entertaining and at times, annoying. This is for all the soon to be drivers, anybody who already drives, and those who should no longer drive. If you are one of these people, read my story, and maybe you can relate.

I love it when I am driving down the road and happen along a red light. Naturally I stop, because that is what that little light above my car means. Out of boredom, I look over at the car next to me, and end up in absolute dismay over what I see. The driver of that car has his finger half way up his nose. I am sure he is not pointing at his brain, so that leaves the old habit of nose picking.

We spend years being taught, not to pick our noses. Why a full-grown man would pick his nose is beyond me. Just when I thought it could not get any worse, he pulls his finger out with a booger that he looks at like it is a gourmet meal. I am now praying that the light will change, but I am the spokes-model for Murphy’s Law, which means if it can happen it will. The driver then does the unthinkable; he shoves his finger, with the gourmet booger into his mouth. It figures the stupid light decides to change, of course, the damage is already done.

Drivers who have children can all relate to my next topic. We have all had run-ins with the angry parent who smacks their child while they attempt to drive down the road. It always amazes me how these people drive while flailing their arms around like it is some new Olympic sporting event, just to smack their kids. They seem to go into some kind of zone that prevents them from remembering what the yellow lines on the road stand for. I think these drivers assume that they have a “smart” vehicle, you know the kind that can do everything, including drive itself down the road. It seems to me that the only time you can smack your kid is while you are moving down the road. It would be too safe to do it while their waiting at a red light or a stop sign. Why would they want to think about anything anyway?

The most entertaining drivers are those who suffer from road-rage. There is nothing more humorous than looking in your rear-view mirror, and seeing the lady that you just cut off, go through a whole series of profane hand gestures. Of course the hand gestures are nothing compared to the vulgarities you call the driver who just swerved into your lane. I really have to laugh about the drivers who speed up, roll their window down and scream things that would make a sailor blush at you. Not to mention that I worry if they are having a seizure.

It is hard to tell the way their mouths are moving and the random jerking of the body that they suffer from. What is worse, you finally get to your destination, when low and behold there is the same driver that was having the seizure. Do you ask him if he is ok, or do you mind your own business and say nothing? This thought process takes to long and he sees you, then proceeds to chew you a new ass and inform you of how terrible of a driver you are. There are way to many drivers like this out there that suffer from the same madness.

The most horrifying of all drivers, is the dreaded “Sunday” driver. These drivers done seem to understand is that they are only supposed to come out on Sunday. There is nothing more nerve racking than following a car doing 25-30 miles per hour in a zone that is marked 55 miles per hour. These are the same drivers that think that their car will fall through the covered manholes in the road, so they swerve around every single one. If the light turns red a mile down the road, it will change three to four times by the time you actually make it to the light. Can these people really see? Does the Secretary of State really test these people?

I love when the “Sunday” driver doesn’t even notice the cars around then, maybe as you get older you become more tunnel visioned. Which goes back to my question about the testing, and the answer must be no. My next question, should anybody that has been around long enough to be able to renew their drivers license by mail, be allowed to drive? I am sure that we have all gone through the trip to the store that should only take five minutes to get there, and because of that little gray haired woman in the car in front of you, it takes twenty minutes to get there. I do not think there is anything more annoying than the “Sunday” driver.

The world is full of people who drive but these drivers, listed above, should all keep in mind what their fellow drivers have to cope with. The lives we live are full of turmoil do we really need to make it worse for each other? I personally would have a more pleasant time driving down the road with out having to worry about seeing somebody pick their nose, or smack their children. I could also deal with a little less road-rage, but the one driver I can definitely live without is the “Sunday” driver. I actually feel that there should be some kind of system to warn drivers about other drivers. Why should we all take a chance of having to deal with any one of these drivers? I do know one thing for sure; we will always have to deal with crazy drivers. There are to many for them all to be good drivers.