An Amateur Beer Snob’s Guide to Beer: The M Beers
After 12 years of beer tasting, this amateur has had plenty to say about beers from across the globe.
What you will find below
The listings below will include the name of the beer, my numerical ranking based upon my own scale of 0.1 to 10.0, and a little of my personal thoughts about each beer.
M beers
Maccabee
4.1
Your Budweiser-drinking friends who want to feel like they’re something special because they drink an occasional foreign beer might like this, but true beer tasters will stay away. Has a foreign-but-made-for-America taste. This drink is made in Netanya, Israel, and yes, there is a group in the Apocrypha-version of the Holy Bible who are called Maccabees; Catholics will recognize the name but Protestants are out of luck. I suggest anyone who is interested, grab a version of “The New Oxford Annotated Bible” to find out what a Maccabee is.
Madcap’s Zebra Lager
6.7
The story goes that this beer from Evansville, Indiana, is made from an old European family recipe. This drink has a bit of a cheap beer smell to it, but it goes down very wet with some sweetness. Worth trying if you get the chance.
Mad Monk Nut Brown Ale
5.5
A little bit of sweetness and too much fizz. Not great but about as typical as a nut brown ale can be. Worth drinking on a regular basis and to pass out to your non-beer snob friends who would think this brew is something exotic.
Mad Monk Pale Ale
7.5
Brewed by the Mad Monk Beer Company of Cincinnati, Ohio. Smooth with some froth. Not too strong, but not too weak either. Makes a great beer for weddings (right, Steve?).
5.0
Lots of carbonation here, but it doesn’t really interfere with the taste. Has a cheap sweetness that’s almost reminiscent of really bad American brews. One of the few disappointing Belgian brews.
Magic Hat Circus Boy
6.9
The label calls this a hefeweisen, and that’s about right. Has a light, fruity smoothness in the flavor and texture. There’s a little carbonation, but not enough to spoil your drinking pleasure. Smooth enough that you could drink several of these, but too good for swilling fools.
Magic Hat Jinx
7.2
Frothy and fruity. This is a seasonal brew, which I normally don’t care for, but this is my favorite of those Christmasy beers because it is without the strong nutmeg, cinnamon flavoring. A solid, sturdy burntness grows the more you drink. A good tasting or sipping beer, but it’s a bit strong for a guzzling beer.
Magic Hat #9
7.0
The label calls this a “not quite Pale Ale,” and that’s a good description. It falls a bit short of being a pale ale, but still is a darn good beer. Imagine a very, very light pale ale, almost a white ale, and you’ve got a pretty good handle on what this tastes like. Pretty smooth, with a touch of carbonation after you’ve been drinking it for a while. Might score a tad higher with me if it had more of that pale ale strength. Goes well with beef stew, I’ve discovered.
Marston’s Albion Porter
8.2
Quite possibly the smoothest porter I’ve ever had. The typical burnt maple taste of a porter is not strong here, but that’s fine with me since I don’t care for that taste much anyway. A little too much carbonation. A nice fruity texture as it goes down. Made by Marston, Thompson and Evershed of Burton on Trent, England.
Marston’s India Export Pale Ale
7.9
Also by Marston, Thompson and Evershed of Burton on Trent, England. One of the better I.P.A. drinks available, without much of the sourness often found in an I.P.A.
Marston’s Oyster Stout
8.4
One of the easiest stouts going down the throat, but not a stout for wimps. Not the darkest or heaviest stout there is, but it’s not light. An overall very nice stout. Many American beer snobs might not like this stout because it isn’t overly powerful, but don’t let that fool you. The taste is still excellent. The maple burnt flavoring of many porters and stouts doesn’t exist here. A stout unique unto itself and difficult to explain.
Marston’s Pedigree Bitter
6.1
Smooth to the point of being a little flat, but bitters often have that quality. Has a slight bitterness. Pretty weak, but then again I’m not a big fan of bitter-style beers.
Mault’s Brew Pub Babe’s Brown Porter
6.4
Portsmouth, Ohio, is the home of Mault’s Brew Pub. If you are ever in Portsmouth, check out the floodwall down by the river; the wall has been painted with various pictures from the town’s past – it’s really cool. The Babe’s Brown Porter is kind of light for a porter, but it goes down very smooth and has a decent burnt taste that isn’t overly strong. Frothy with no fizz. Good for just drinking. The taste is a tad simple for expert beer drinkers but worth trying.
Mault’s Brew Pub Portsmouth Pilsener
5.8
Smooth and light like a good pilsener. Frothy but a little weak for true beer snobs.
Mault’s Brew Pub Red Bird Ale
5.6
Mault’s Brew Pub is in Portsmouth, Ohio. The Redbirds were a baseball team in Portsmouth back in the 1930s, so the rumor is this beer is named for the team. This beer is frothy and goes down easy because there’s little strength. Beer snob beginners and wannabes would like this beer. There is a little fizz and a touch of sweetness.
Mault’s Brew Pub Spartan Export
7.0
Fairly smooth but a touch of fizz. Good, clean taste. One of the few drinks good enough for beer snobs to enjoy, but smooth enough for non-snobs to drink.
Mault’s Brew Pub Summer Breeze
4.0
Very wet and smooth and decent tasting at first, but the aftertaste reminded me of that taste in your mouth the morning after you’ve been smoking a cigar. Who knows, maybe I just got a bad batch. There’s a picture on the wall in this brewpub that has a caption that says Gambrinus, a mythical Flemish king, was the inventor of beer. I’d never heard that before, but historically the Flemish were the first to put hops in beer.
Mault’s Brew Pub Winter Bock
6.0
Very smooth and good for drinking. Mid-level beer snobs would enjoy this while working their way up to being expert beer snobs. This beer is a bit too sweet for my taste. Mault’s Brew Pub of Portsmouth, Ohio brews this beer, and they’ve got great food too.
McDuff’s Best Bitter
4.3
Gritty McDuff’s Brewing Company of Portland, Maine, brews and bottles this stuff. Gritty McDuff’s is also a brew pub in Portland. The mix of sweetness and bitterness is overpowering at first, but the strength dies away until it is tolerable by the time you’re halfway through the bottle. The smell is still too strong. Leaves your mouth dry. Would go well with bar food.
McEwan’s Scotch Ale
7.3
I suggest this one only for experienced beer tasters. You need to sip this, much like you would brandy or a fine wine. The taste is extremely sweet, to the point of being overpowering at times. The texture is extremely heavy, almost to the point of being a stout. I have seen true beer snobs who were not able to finish one whole bottle of this ale because it is so rich. Still, I enjoy this beer quit well with a heavy meal like steak, or when I’ve had a few other beers beforehand which helps kill some of the strength. Not for the weak of stomach. From Scotland, of course. Comes from Scottish & Newcastle Breweries of Edinburgh, Scotland.
McNally’s
5.8
A pretty strong malt sweet/sour taste here. Pretty heavy for a Canadian ale.
Michael Shea’s Black & Tan
6.0
This black and tan is a mix of a porter and lager. The porter taste is nice and smooth but there is way too much fizz in this drink.
Michael Shea’s Irish Amber
5.8
The Highfalls Brewing Company of Rochester, New York, makes this brew. This beer doesn’t seem to know what it wants to be – it’ll have the barest touch of sweet one minute, then have a little bit of bitter on the way down. Wet, but way too much fizz.
3.5
Anheuser-Busch makes this beer and all the beers under the Michelob label. Goes down smooth. Sweeter and slightly stronger than your typical, watered-down American beer. If I had to drink cheap American beer on a regular basis, I would probably pick this one. More fizz than I find necessary.
Michelob AmberBock
4.3
This sweet Anheuser-Busch beer improves in taste ten-fold if you are watching a baseball game, especially if it is the Chillicothe Paints (they serve this beer on tap during their home games in Chillicothe, Ohio). Seriously, this is a decent beer – but it’s not an awesome beer. It reminds me a little of those spicy Christmas brews.
Michelob Black & Tan
3.4
The bottle says this is a mix of a porter and a lager. This drink is extremely sweet with a strong maple flavor. Stouter and darker than Michelob’s usual nonsense, but still not worth drinking.
Michelob Classic Dark
3.6
I remember drinking this back in the early ’80s and thinking it was great beer. Who knew better back then? Nothing real special here. You can give this to your non-beer snob friends and they’ll think it’s something really exotic. A little sweetness and caramel in the taste. Not a bad beer for drinking or for a beginning beer taster’s first time out.
Michelob Dry
3.7
Goes down smooth at first but the fizz seems to grow the more you drink. A little sweetness in the aftertaste.
Michelob Golden Draft
3.6
You would think Anheuser-Busch wouldn’t need to add one more watery, tasteless drink they call beer to their lineup, but here it is. This beer is so weak it makes Corona look strong. Still, it is smooth enough and wet enough to be a good thirst quencher for days when you are working in the yard. There is just a little sweet taste that dies quickly. The smoothness and wetness raise this beer’s score, because there sure isn’t enough taste to do it.
Michelob Golden Draft Light
2.0
This beer has even less taste than the non-light version (if that’s possible), but a lot more carbonation. A little harsh going down.
Michelob HefeWeizen
4.0
This is a wheat ale from Anheuser-Busch. It is also a fairly decent brew for a major beer producer. This beer, and Michelob’s other flavors, are a good place for beginning beer snobs to get started.
Michelob Honey Lager
4.4
This beer has a sweet taste, but it’s fairly weak. This is a good transition beer for novice beer snobs.
Michelob Light
2.8
Anheuser-Busch’s umpteenth weak, watery beer. The reason they make such beers is because they are trying to appeal to the largest market possible and apparently heavy beers that actually have taste don’t appeal to the market. Why doesn’t everyone just drink water then? Who knows? But this light beer is better than some – at least it’s not too hard to swallow and the carbonation is a little less than many light beers.
Michelob Maple Brown Ale
3.9
On first sip, this beer has a slightly sweet taste. By the fourth sip, this beer is overly sweet. The maple flavor doesn’t really kick in until the aftertaste. This isn’t my cup of tea, but I usually don’t care much for sweet beers.
Michelob Marzen
3.9
This is supposed to be a “Smooth Lager” according to the bottle’s label. It gets too sweet after the second drink, but the carbonation is at a tolerable level (though still a little high). Something a little different, but not something special.
Michelob Pale Ale
4.0
I once said I’d never met a pale ale I didn’t like. Well, this one comes darn close. This just doesn’t taste like a pale ale. The flavor is harsh and this beer can be hard to swallow due to all the fizziness.
Michelob Ultra
3.0
This Anheuser-Busch beer is a low carbohydrate light beer, according to the bottle’s label. Lots of carbonation here, but the taste is vaguely sweet going down. There are worse light beers.
Michelob Ultra Lime Cactus
3.0
Lots of fizz. The barest hint of lime. Not a lot of taste. Next, please?
Michelob Ultra Tuscan Orange Grapefruit
3.0
This is a beer you buy for your girl at the bar. There’s a touch of fruitiness, but not much else other than tons of carbonation. Somewhere in there might be the taste of actual beer, but I’ve yet to find it. Might make a decent beer for people who don’t want to drink beer. If that makes sense.
Michelob Winter Brew Spiced Ale
3.7
This is Anheuser-Busch’s Christmas brew with nutmeg, spices, etc. I usually don’t like these holiday beers much. This one is the sweetest of the sweet. This beer reeks of cinnamon before you even get the glass to your lips. If you like sweet, spicy beers, then this is one for you. I suppose this would go good with fruit cake on Christmas eve.
1.2
This malt liquor from the G. Heileman Brewing Co. of Detroit, Michigan, has more fizz than taste. This drink is weak and the taste is bad. Just don’t drink this.
3.4
There isn’t much strength in this beer. It’s also watery and has some sweet taste.
3.3
There is a little too much fizz here for me, but it’s smooth and goes down fairly easily. There’s just the barest hint of sweetness.
Miller Genuine Draft Lite
3.0
There is so much fizz in this beer, it’s hard to get any flavor out of it at all. There is a little bit of mellow beer taste way, way, way in the back of the bubbles.
3.8
Like other Miller beers, this one is weak and wet. But there is hardly any fizz and it goes down smooth. A decent beer for the end of a hard day’s work.
Miller High Life Light
3.2
The can says this is “The Champagne of Beers.” Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Oh, excuse me. That must be some pretty crappy champagne. But seriously, this is about what you’d expect. Plenty of carbonation and a soapy taste. About the best I can say is this: Not the worst light beer I’ve had.
2.7
What is it about all these light beers that they have to have so much more fizz in them than regular beers? This beer has a lot of fizz in it and it’s flat with very little taste.
Miller Lite Ice
2.6
This brew has a harsh taste and is as fizzy as Miller Lite. I don’t have much good to say about it.
Milwaukee’s Best
3.1
I have to say I was surpised this beer didn’t taste as bad as I thought it would. Still, there’s not much here except a slight sweet and American taste. A good working-man’s beer. This brew comes from the people at Miller.
Milwaukee’s Best Ice
2.2
Tastes like a beer, sort of. Tastes like salty fizz more than anything. Tons of carbonation.
2.0
Milwaukee’s Best Light isn’t nearly as good as Milwaukee’s Best. This drink is watery with hardly any flavor and a touch of carbonation.
Mississippi Mud Black & Tan
5.0
According to the bottle, this black and tan is a mix of a pilsner and a porter. This is the weakest black and tan I’ve ever had, which is bad if you are a beer snob but good if you are a beginning beer taster. A little watery. Decent burnt taste. The bottle is cute – it’s shaped and colored like a brown moonshine jug.
Molson Canadian Lager
5.6
This is what American beers try to be. A cheese and crackers beer. A good, plain, all-around beer. Not necessarily a beer snob’s beer, but a beer for beer snob wannabes and people who want non-beer snobs to think they are beer snobs.
Molson Golden
4.6
This drink has a flat, fizzy taste to it. There’s a little bitterness, but not much. This beer could use some work, but by the third or fourth one you really don’t know what you’re drinking.
Molson Ice
4.5
This beer isn’t as good as it’s Canadian Lager cousin. The taste isn’t real strong. There is a lot more fizz which makes it harder to swallow.
Molson Light
4.9
At first sip, this beer is sweet and watery, but it gets a bit stronger on the way down. Just a tad too much fizz.
Moosehead Beer
4.0
A very American tasting beer. The flavor is weak and there is more carbonation than is needed. Still, this Canadian brew goes down pretty easy. It’s a good thirst quencher.
4.3
Extremely smooth with a nice head, but has a weak, American taste. Goes well with pastas; also keeps the tongue cool after you’ve been eating peppers. The label has a painting of a guy who looks like he should have been in The Godfather movie. Imported in the United States from northern Italy.
Morland “Old Speckled Hen” Draught
4.0
According to the back of a beer can, this ale is named after a speckled MG car. Morland of Abingdon, Oxfordshire, England, brews this. Has a very soft, fluffy head. Very smooth but leaves a cheap bitterness on the tongue. Wet. Goes well with fish and chips.
Murphy’s Irish Amber
6.4
This stuff is brewed at Lady’s Well Brewery in Cork, Ireland, by Murphy Brewery Ireland Ltd. Sweet with a touch of carbonation. You can drink this stuff all day long.
Murphy’s Irish Stout Draught
4.6
This drink comes from the Murphy Brewery of Ireland and is shipped into the States by Heineken. Extremely weak for a stout. So weak, in fact, you could guzzle this beer (and stouts typically should not be guzzled). One of the wettest beers I’ve ever had. So wet it isn’t frothy or fizzy – almost as if it’s flat but without the dullness. Some burnt flavoring with a slight tea-like aftertaste. Not an exceptional beer, but worth trying and not all that bad.
5.1
First tried this Greek beer at a Greek festival in Huntington, WV, where the food was fantastic. Normally I don’t care much for Mediterranean beers, but this one’s not bad. It’s perfect for cooling you down on a hot summer day. However, it’s not really anything overly special. Reminds me a little of Corona and other lighter brews, similar to a weak American pilsner or ale, but without as much carbonation. Try it. You’ll like it.
Related beer links
The Amateur Beer Snob’s Guide to Beer: The N Beers
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Amanda, posted this comment on Oct 31st, 2009
good artical goog man