For The Love of Crab
A story about loving seafood…maybe too much.
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I love crabs. I don’t mean as a pet. I love to eat crab dunked in butter, or vinegar, or seasoned with old bay. Sometimes I think I could eat crab for every meal. I have an insatiable appetite for crabs, all types: blue, snow, king, soft shell, steamed, in sushi, stuffed in fish, you name it… I could eat it every day. So imagine my extreme happiness, glee even, when I was told that there was an all you can eat seafood buffet not too far away. Heaven! I am so there, I thought. My husband didn’t mind taking me since the restaurant was smack in the middle of a casino, one of his favorite places. That’s another story.
We stood in line to pay and beyond the counter I spotted the most beautiful sight. Crab legs were stacked in piles about three feet wide and three feet deep. They were the color of coral with steam rising from the mounds. It was simply breathtaking. They were hot and ready to eat. My mouth watered. I envied the others already seated in front of their own mountains of crab legs voraciously appeasing their appetites. I smiled and overheard my husband talking to the woman at the counter about my not having the right kind of player’s card or whatever. I managed to hold myself back from shouting, “just pay the lady!” I needed to get in there…whatever the cost, let’s go buddy. I mean, I could smell it and I couldn’t wait.
Soon, I stood in another line, plate in hand, and waited for my turn to dig through the crab stack. I assessed the situation, does this go clockwise or counterclockwise? Once I figured it out, I got into position and piled up as many crabs as I possibly could balance back to my table. I managed this in one hand and my bowl of butter, or butter like substance, in the other. I didn’t care what it was. It smelled great. I dug in, cracking peeling, scooping, dipping, and finally…eating. It was delicious. I felt alone in the restaurant. I didn’t notice anyone else. Not totally alone, ti was me and my crab. I didn’t say a word to my husband.
After I returned to the table with my second plate, which I managed to pile higher with my new cross leg alignment I managed to invent, I looked up for a second. First I noticed that Claud, didn’t have any crab on his plate. Hmm…Then, I looked at his face. He looked pale and a bit ill, “are you ok, honey?” “I might need to walk out of here and get some air.” “Why, what’s going on?” “Look at all of these people wolfing the crab”. I took a look around. Everyone had plates piled as high as mine. Crab juice and crab pieces flew through the air. Grease marks from the butter dotted the corners of their mouths. They looked ravenous, eyes glazed. Claud picked a piece of crab from my eyebrow. He pointed to the crab legs which lay on the floor around the buffet tables. “This isn’t right,” he told me. “Crab is supposed to be enjoyed a little at a time. Not like this. This is gluttony. I don’t think I will ever eat crab again.” I set down the crab leg that I was halfway into eating, a little embarrassed at my behavior, and dabbed my napkin at the butter dripping from the corner of my mouth.
One dictionary defines a glutton as, “a person who eats excessively.” In the Bible, Proverb 23:2 reads, “and put a knife to thy throat, if thou be a man given to appetite.” Appetite in this Proverb has been interpreted to mean gluttony. This is serious. It’s one of the seven deadly sins! I promised Claud he would never have to take me back to seafood buffet night again. I left the restaurant bloated and confused.
Wait a minute, I thought. I gathered my senses. Then again, I thought, as I checked my hair for flying crab debris, it would be wasteful not to eat the crab. I mean, it’s going to be here whether or not I am. Secretly, I knew he just didn’t understand the love of crab. Applying gluttony to crab eating is just being dramatic. I never said I wouldn’t come back. Remember, I believe you never give up on love, that can apply to people and food alike.
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