I am 5’10” tall and weigh 123 lbs. on a heave day. If I ate cheeseburgers from dusk till dawn, I would more likely gain severe indigestion before I gained any weight. I am the woman 90% of other American women love to hate. My problem is that I don’t really care for being skinny or slim as I’ve recently graduated to. I am also a former model.

When I first started modeling I had done my research. I knew the difference between a commercial model, a print model, and a runway model and I knew what category I fit into. That’s typically what you do when you want a career in a specific field. You do your homework and find out what field fits in with your talents and experience. I never quite understood half of the people that had so called modeling industry induced eating disorders. Most of them probably couldn’t be models if they tried because they don’t have the look.

It’s funny how people relate to Simon Cowell when he crushes some poor young girl’s dreams on American Idol. True, the girl may sound like she had her vocal cords removed with a blow torch, but come on, it is not that funny. Not when you consider that the same thing happens in the modeling industry every day. Why don’t people understand that no matter how pretty you are, if you’re not at least 5’8” with striking features and wear a size 0-4 (European) you cannot be on Christian Dior’s runway. Nor can you have a multi-million dollar contract with Ford models. It doesn’t matter how many cookies you toss.

High fashion models are tall, thin, boyish looking, and they have a distinct look. This distinct look can be strikingly beautiful or strikingly ugly, but either way it is striking. High fashion models are typically the ones seen in Vogue, W, Elle, and on the top designers’ runways. They look the way they do because they can immediately capture your eye without taking the attention away from the designer’s clothing. At fashion shows, these girls are literally coat hangers that move. They’re hair is made up the same way, they have the same make-up, they walk the same way, they pose the same way. When one girl walks off the runway, two models later another chic is going to come on the runway that looks exactly like her. You’re going to be sitting there thinking, “Damn, she changed fast.” The purpose of the fashion show is to show off clothes, not models. If the models wanted attention and wanted people to know their name, they would host a talk show like Tyra Banks does.

Most models do not have eating disorders, but what people tend to forget is that most models start when they are anywhere from 14 to 16 years old. Even Victoria’s Secret Fashion Models average out at around 23 with the youngest ones being 17. They’re metabolisms are extremely high, and they haven’t even developed into their bodies yet.

For me as a black model, I faced another challenge altogether. The African-American modeling community embraces curves and voluptuous women, but no one ever talks about that. As a slim model living in the South, I was often turned away from jobs because I was skinny. They preferred what I call the “video model”. I and many of my modeling peers who were in my boat found themselves wishing they were bigger and having curves. You never hear about the girls who wish they were bigger, but we are out there. Maybe we should start locking ourselves in the bathroom, guzzling turkey gravy, and dropping dead from heart attacks. Maybe then they will ban fat models at the Lane Bryant shows like they banned the skinny ones in Madrid.

The bottom line is this: modeling is a job, just like any other job, that you are either qualified for are you aren’t. If you’re a taxi cab driver with genetically poor vision, would you harm yourself because you really, really wanted to be an airline pilot? No you wouldn’t, and if you tried you’d be diagnosed as a nut cake. If you don’t fit the bill to be a model, don’t kill yourself trying to beat that door down, just do something that you are naturally qualified to do and do it the best way you can. If you’re not tall and skinny but still want to be a model, be a commercial model or a print model. There’s still hope for you yet.