King John Lackland: The Idiot Son
From Hero and Villain: More Prisoners of Eternity.
In popular folklore King John I of England will always be remembered as the nemesis of Robin Hood. In reality he was a cruel, capricious, untrustworthy and paranoid man, whose failings as a human being were made manifest by the corrupting influence of power.
John Lackland, as he became known, was born on 24 December, 1166, the fifth son of King Henry II of England and the ruler of the powerful Angevin Empire, and his wife the formidable and duplicitous Eleanor of Aquitaine. John, however, was not just the youngest son he was very much the runt of the litter. Not as tall as his brothers, he was physically unattractive, spoke badly, and was totally lacking in dash, charm, and physical prowess. Despite being a peevish and petulant child his father seemed to take pity on him and made him his favourite, perhaps as a counterpoint to his more threatening brothers Henry, Geoffrey and Richard.
John had the fortune, or misfortune, of being born into one of the most illustrious royal families in Europe. His father, Henry II, was the grandson of William the Conqueror, and was, by all accounts, a bundle of nervous energy. Of average height, broad chested, and physically very strong, he rarely remained in the same place for long and always seemed to be in the saddle, and he often left his courtiers stranded in his wake. In appearance he had a ruddy complexion, a mane of red hair, grey piercing eyes, and was possessed of a fiery temper. He was a competent administrator, a formidable military commander, and a wily diplomat. He hated to delegate power and wanted to do everything for himself, and he ran both his family and his dynasty as if it was a Mafia clan, and he reaped what he sowed. For it was like father like son, and he was in constant conflict with his children. Children encouraged and manipulated to rebel against him by his wife, Eleanor of Aquitaine.
Eleanor of Aquitaine was 11 years Henry’s senior. She had already been married for 15 years to King Louis VII of France, whom she accompanied on the Second Crusade. The Crusade itself was a miserable failure but Eleanor appeared to impress everyone she came into contact with. She didn’t however seem to impress her husband and they were divorced on 11 March, 1152, due, apparently, to Eleanor’s failure to provide Louis with a son. She later claimed that being with Louis was like living with a monk and that her failure to bear dynastic fruit had nothing to do with her. She was not single for long however, and on 18 May, 1152, she married the future King of England, Duke Henry of Normandy. To everyone’s apparent surprise they actually fancied one another and Eleanor was to go on to prove her fecundity by providing Henry with 8 children including 5 sons, despite being in her thirties and considered middle-aged.
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