1. Cleaning products. Even if it’s a $2,000 top-of-the-line, fantastic, upright, robotic gadget cleaner 5000. She does not want to be reminded during the holidays that she is the cleaner upper of the household. You don’t want her to be either, because the next step is her remembering how you never pull your weight around the house.

2. Gym Membership/Workout Equipment. I don’t care how many times this year she mentioned that she wants to start going to the gym or would like to get one of those crazy walking machines. This is not the time. Unless you want to spend the rest of the holiday season your life explaining that no, you weren’t trying to give her a hint about those few extra pounds, skip anything fitness related.

3. Something You Really Want. You know your wife doesn’t want another HDTV or that recliner that stores beer in the armrest compartment. Don’t try to sneak in something you want to use as her gift. She will know exactly what you’re doing. The holidays are for selflessness, not selfishness.

4. A Pet. The last thing your wife needs is another mouth to feed and body to clean up after. Besides, giving pets as gifts is always a bad idea. Wait until you can plan to adopt an animal as a family.

5. Plastic Surgery. The gift of cosmetic surgery is on the rise. Don’t do it. You may as well just send your wife a holiday card and write in it “You are too hideous for me to look at any more. Please get yourself fixed before I trade you in for a newer model.”

Think about the message your gifts will send to their recipients. Don’t be That Guy when buying for your loved one.